Ist dieser englische Aufsatz (200 Wörter) richtig oder findet ihr noch einen Fehler?

2 Antworten

Vom Fragesteller als hilfreich ausgezeichnet

Hallo

 

Man fängt Sätze im Englischen nicht mit "Because of this..." an bzw. es klingt einfach unschön.

im 3. Abschnitt schreibst du "the pupils".... Welche???? Das the kannst du in dem Fall weglassen oder umschreiben. Auch der Anfang "For example" klingt nicht so gut. Vielleicht fällt dir da noch was Schöneres ein? Es heißt nicht "overview about", sondern "overview of".

 

Dann wieder das "the" vor teenagers weglassen. Statt "future job" würde ich lieber "...not a good job for future" schreiben.

 

Letzter Absatz: "Another negative aspect (ohne das "s")" und das Komma und "the" kommen weg. Bei weeks brauchst du kein "´" und es heißt nur "useful".

 

Quelle: bin gelernte Fremdsprachensekretärin für Englisch und Spanisch :-)

Ansonsten hört sich das Aufsatz schön flüssig an und du hast die Sätze gut verbunden.  

 

Liebe Grüße

 

 

 

Vielen Dank!!!

war ein Übungsaufsatz für die Arbeit ...

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Because of this I will comment - I'm going to comment( weil `will´heißt es ist unsicher, aber du wirst es sicher machen!)

has positive such as negative aspects.- has positives and also negatives

Und wenn du "on the other hand " benutzt, musst du vorher on the one hand benutzt ahben. 

Sonst ist alles spitze!:)

will ist doch Futur, ich werde, oder nicht?

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Stimmmt diese Englische Übersetzung.?

Kann mir jemand die folgenden Sätze korrigieren? - How are you? I'm fine thank you but a bit nervous. - What do you do in your spare time? In my spare time I go horseback riding twice a week and I also like to meet my friends. In summer we often go swimming in the lake. - What is your favourite food? I don't have any favourite food but I like pizza very much and of course every kind of sweets like chocolate or ice-cream. - What will you do after school? After my graduation I am going to go to a city college (Fachoberschule bzw. Fos - passt die Übersetzung?) - Are you happy with your grades? Yes I am very glad about my grades. They can't be better. - Will you be happy when your graduation is over? Yes, I am very happy when I won't have to learn anything and can enjoy the summer holidays. - What will you do in your summer holidays? In my summer holidays i am going to drive to the baltic sea with a good friend. If the weather is great, I will go swimming in the sea.

...zur Frage

Realschule Klasse 10 Argumentation in Englisch. Verbesserunsvorschläge?

Wir schreiben morgen eine Arbeit und in dieser Arbeit kommt auch das Thema Argumentation vor. Unsere Lehrerin hat uns ein Thema gegeben an dem wir üben können. Es wär nett, wenn ihr mir Verbesserungsvorschläge geben könntet. Danke!

Should pupils be allowed to use the internet in every lession?

Nowadays, every pupil has a mobile phone with access to the internet. Mostly they use their mobile to access social sites like facebook and so on. But should it be allowed to use them every lesson?

To begin with , mobile phones with internet access could be useful in lessons. You could for example download an app for translation to learn better . You could find the translations oft he word in less than 30 seconds. That would be a good exchange for a translation book.

Furthermore you could use it as a information finder, for example if you dont unterstand something in the lesson, you can look yourself in the internet instead of asking the teacher. That would be very good because no one would disturb the lesson anymore.

At the other hand pupils could go on social sites and chat with their friends instead of learning or do research with their mobile phones. That wouldn’t be controllable because you can’t control every mobile before they fastly change the website.

Furthermore probably many pupils couldn’t concentrate at the lesson anymore because they could do what they want in the internet. They wouldn’t pay attention at the teacher and what he/she is teaching.

There are many positive and negative aspects about that topic. But I would say that it shouldn’t be allowed. It is good how it is now and it shouldn’t change.

Verbesserungsvorschläge bitte. Danke!

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Brauche eure Hilfe in English? Es ist wichtig?

Könnt ihr mir meinen Text durchlesen und wenn ihr Fehler findet es ausbessern, da ich versuche mich zu verbessern. Ich würde mich für eure Hilfe sehr bedanken und bedanke mich im voraus . Vielen Dank für eure Hilfe

Today I will speak about young People. The important thing for the Teenagers is Clothes. For many Teenagers, it does not matter what the clothes look like, the price and the brand always important. Many teenagers say that they are too overpriced brands but still are almost all of their clothes from well-known brands.

The teenagers try to style themselves to either show-off or impress girls. They want to belong to a group to hang out with or they also make fun of the others who cannot afford expensive clothes or use their money sparingly.

Especially sports brands are very popular with boys and girls are more classic clothes. There are also some Youtubers who make videos about it and then they look at the kids and then they try to dress like their idols.

...zur Frage

Morgen mündliche Englisch Realschulprüfung, Text Korrektur

Hallo, ich habe morgen meine mündliche Realschulprüfung. Wir haben heute die Aufgabe für die Kurzpresentation(2-3min.) bekommen und wollte eure Meinung wissen. Es geht um ,,My Dream Job,, Hier ist der Text: My dream job Now I will tell you something about my dream job. My dream is to be a police officer because the uniform gives me strength. When I was a child I always wanted to arrest criminals to secure the city. I had three weeks internship at the police station and it was very interesting. So I can imagine to work as a cop. There are many departments in this job. Once the police protection, second the criminal police and finally the district police. The police protection has many interesting activities. They are called to inserts, to traffic accidents but anyway it is very dangerous because they arrest criminals. The criminal police is also an interesting department. They consult witnesses, they consult victims of crime, write reports and they are civil. That’s very important so they are not recognized by the criminals. The district police is something for older cops because they don’t have much action. They attend schools and speak with the pupils. That is not a thing for me. I want to work more at the police protection because it is very interesting. In this job you can earn about 2000 € a month. But it also can increase. That was my presentation about my dream job.

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Kann jemand meinen englisch Text durchgehen? 8. Klasse :)

Hey. Muss den Text morgen abgeben, wäre nett wenn jemand noch mal kontrollieren könnte :/ Grades from Students to teachers Should students be allowed to give their teachers grades? It's just fair when students give their teachers grades, because teachers give students grades, too. When teachers get grades from the students, they could see how the students think about them. A disadvantage is, that the students do not know enough about teachers' work. Also some students would evaluate teachers they dont like intentionally bad, because they arent able to be objective. But I'm still thinking that students should be allowed to give their teachers grades. The teachers could improve and the students would be happier. Sooo das wars.. Habt ihr vllt noch Ergänzungen? Weitere (gegen)argumente? Sind bis jetzt leider nur 100 / 150 Wörtern .. Danke :))

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Outsourcing - Globalisation

Hallo meine Lieben,

habe einen Text im Bezug auf Outsourcing geschrieben. Fällt euch im Bezug auf Globalised Outsourcing noch etwas ein ? Und bitte seid so lieb und korrigiert den Text falls möglich :) Danke schonmal :)

Outsourcing is the act of one company contracting with another company to provide services that might otherwise be performed by in-house employees. Often the tasks that are outsourced could be performed by the company itself, but in many cases there are financial advantages that come from outsourcing. Many large companies now outsource jobs such as call center services, e-mail services, and payroll.

There are many reasons that companies outsource various jobs, but the most prominent advantage seems to be the fact that it often saves money. Many of the companies that provide outsourcing services are able to do the work for considerably less money, as they don't have to provide benefits to their workers and have fewer overhead expenses to worry about. Depending on location, it may also be more affordable to outsource to companies located in different countries.

Positive Aspects

• Some people can move easily from country to country. • Many people who dont have a good education get the opportunity to get better jobs. • Companies can produce their products much cheaper and outsource their production into other countries.

Negativ Aspects

• Many people who have a good education lose their jobs because they are more expensive than guest workers from developing countries. • Traditions as well as culture get lost. • There is no high living standard anymore.

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