Ist der text grammatikalisch korrekt. ich sollte eine Meinung zum Thema "Hitzefrei" schreiben, zu VIEL, oder zu WENIG?
Nowadays, teenagers want a day off because of excessive heat in their school. I think the teachers should allow the teenagers a day off because of excessive heat, for different reasons, that I am going to explain:
First of all, I think teenagers should have a day off because of excessive heat, because it is important for their health. A few teachers say to have a day off because of excessive heat isn’t usefully, because pupils can’t learn more in their schools if they cancel school for the day. In my opinion, I would say a day off because of excessive heat is important that you can keep fit and you also save in order to your health.
In additional, the teenagers have more free-time by the day off because of excessive heat and they can do more in their free-time, for example: to play basketball, to play football and some more sports. To sum up, I think a day off because of excessive heat is usefully, because it has a massive effect on the health and you can do more in your free-time,.
Hier wären ein paar links zu Argumenten:
Du wiederholst die Phrase: have a day off because of excessive heat ziemlich oft. gibt es vielleicht etwas anderes, was du stattdessen sagen könntest? Einfach nur day off school, to take a day off
Oder einfach ein paar mal die Begründung weglassen.
A few teachers say - Some teachers have the opinion that
isn’t usefully - is useless; doesn't help
In my opinion, I would say - ist ein bisschen doppelt gemoppelt
that you can keep fit and you also save in order to your health. - so that you stay fit and healthy
In additional - in addition, despite that
Das Argument, dass man dann mehr Freizeit hat, ist nicht wirklich überzeugend.
Kratzeis, du bist ja öfter hier aber bedankst dich für unsere Arbeit selten. Be that as it may, there are too many repetitions in your essay. Just check how often you have "excessive heat". Furthermore, you totally ignore your teacher who has a good point of view: His idea is that your school is not so hot inside because it is probably a modern building and students should quit complaining about every day life. Learning is more important than being idle. Sports makes things even worse in the heat. What are your thoughts on that?