Ich habe eine Written discussion geschrieben. Ist die so gut ich schreibe nämlich morgen eine Klassenarbeit?

1 Antwort

Mobile Phones at Schools

(---) last time there are (Zeit) a lot of discussions about mobile phones on (Präposition) schools. Almost every student has a mobile phone and takes it to the school. So (Komma) many schools forbid to take (Wort) mobile phones to (---) school. There are arguments for and against mobile phones at schools. But now is the question (Satzstellung): Does it (Sind die arguments oder sind Mobile Phones at Schools gemeint?) make sense?

On the one hand (Komma) there are people who say that mobile phones have to be forbid (Grammatik). First, they say that mobile phones disturb (---) lessons when they ring. Many people like me have experiences with it (Womit?) and can say that ist (Grammatik) irritating when it (Was?) happens and just disturb (Subjekt-Verb-Bezug) the lesson (besser Plural).
Second, they say that many students use mobile phones to bully other
people. They take pictures of them or show people pictures or videos of
them. I can agree and saw it once (---) how (Formulierung) a student took a picture of a girl to bully her. Third, there are a lot of people who say that mobile phones divert (Wort) (---) students from learning. A lot of students play games, surf on the internet or take pictures in middle of the school lesson (besser Plural). Once (---) I saw it (s.o.) in my class and can agree. That was the side of the supporter (besser Plural) of a ban for (Präposition) mobile phones on (Präposition) schools. But then there is the side of the enemys (Wort, RS) of a ban for (Präposition) mobile phones on (Präposition) schools. First, mobile phones help (---) students to stay in contac (Wort) with their parents. In case of emergency at (Präposition) the (Possesivpronomen) way to school or home,

(neue Satz) family problems the parents can arrive (Wort) their kids by phoning (Grammatik)or writing to them. (kein vollständiger Satz)

It happened also once (---) to me (s.o.) when I had to call the Emergency Service (Wort) and was important (Formulierung). Second, mobile phones could help (---) students to get some information from the internet. When they have a break or free-lesson (Wort) they can (Zeit) go into (Wort) the internet and search for information. That could help (---) students to have more fun at school. The third and last argument for mobile phones at schools is that the students could relax in (Präposition) the (Possessivpronomen) breaks. They can (Zeit) listen to music, play some games or surf in (Präposition) the internet. It would very much fun for everybody and (---) students would go full (Wortart) motivationed (Wort) into (Präposition) their lesson (Plural). Many students wish it (Formulierung) and so it must be introduced (Wer oder was ist „it“). After looking at (besser Perfect Participle) both sides, I think that mobile phones shouldnt (RS) be banned from take it to (---) school (Grammatik). There are some better arguments for mobile phones at schools than against. But I think that (---) schools can make a compromiss (Wort, RS) with (---) students and parents. Maybe the students can (Zeit) take their phones to (---) school but have to give it at the start of the lesson (Das ergibt keinen Sinn.). In the future (Komma) I think that mobile phones could design (Wort) (---) school lessons more interesting and could help. (Satzstellung)

Vorsicht mit der Verwendung des Verbes take.

Das Fettgedruckte muss korrigiert werden. Ich hoffe, ich habe nichts übersehen.

Für das Vokabular und die Rechtschreibung empfehle ich ein gutes (online) Wörterbuch, z.B. pons.com,

für die Grammatik ego4u.de und englisch-hilfen.de - und Finger weg vom Google Übelsetzer und seinen tr.tteligen Kollegen!

:-) AstridDerPu

English Summary and short story: "The Fun They Had"

Any mistakes? Any Verbesserungsvorschläge? P.s. Ist der Text nicht zu lang für eine Summary? Der orginal Text hat ca. 1042 Wörter.

The short story ‘The fun they had‘, written by Isaac Asimov deals with a boy and a girl, Tommy and Margie, who find out something about school in the past. On the 17th of March 2155 Tommy, a thirteen-year-old boy, finds a ‘real book‘ which has been printed on paper. He is at the house of Margie, an eleven-year-old girl. They both take a look at it togehter. The book is really old and the pages are yellow and crinky. In the year 2155 this kind of books do not exist anymore. In this time words are moving on a television screen. These televisions can contain over a million of boks. That is the reason, why Tommy thinks that they are much better. He has found the old book in the attic of his house. While reading, Tommy says that it is about school. Margie hates school and cannot understand why someone would write about it. She was having problems with learning geography from her ‘mechanical teacher‘. It was black, large and had a screen on it. It teaches the students, gives them exercises and askes them questions, all in a special room in their own house. It can also calculate the marks in no time. Margie hates the slot where she has to insert her homework or test papers. Once the geopraphy sector of her mechanical teacher was geraded too quick, so that her marks got worse and worse. The County Inspector rebuilt it after one hour. He was really nice to Margie. She hopped that her mechanical teacher would be taken away for a longer time, like Tommy’s was, because it’s history sector blanked out completly. Tommy says that the book which he has found, is not about their type of school, it is about school centuires ago. They find out that students back then had a man as a teacher who taught the girls and boys, gave them homework and asked them questions. They had a special building, all the children went to. And they learned the same things, if they were the same age. First Margie does not understand how a person could be a teacher and how the students were thaught the same thing, because her mother says that the education must fit to each child's mind, but nevertheless in her opinion these schools are funny and she wants to read more about it. Then it is time for Margie and Tommy for their school. Margie goes into the schoolroom in her house where the mechanical teacher stands. It is already on, because the lessons are always at regular hours. She was thinking about the old school system and how much fun the children must had, learning and spending time togehter.


Grüßle! ~ ♫

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Englisch Aufsatz Hilfe (korrigiert)?

Ich habe den Aufsatz korrigiert und würde mich freuen wenn sich das nochmal jemand anguckt.

In my text I want to write about the topic "I cannot live without my mobile phone" and I want to show the advantages and disadvantages of technical devices in my day life. First let me say that technical devices are really important for me. I need them for information and they facilitate my everyday life. My computer is a technical tool for me. It helps me with my homework and replaces my books. It answers me quickly all questions. I use the PC only sometimes for games because I know that PC games can be make addictive, depressed and aggressive. If I'm too long on the PC, I neglect my friends. My mobile phone is very important for me. With the mobile phone I can get medical help quickly. I also need my smart phone because I can always stay in contact with my family or my friends. The radiation from your smart phones is dangerous, this can cause cancer The privacy and the data protection are disclosed with this technique. Via Whatsapp I can exchange texts with friends. When I'm sick, Iam get told what I missed at school. My hobby is photography. With my new camera, I can take a lot of pictures in succession and record videos in high quality. I love also to listen to loud music on my MP3 player. Headphones can damage my ears and lead to hearing loss. On the one hand, I am happy that I can go to school by car or bus. But on the other hand, the exhaust gases pollute the air. I love to cook, so my kitchen appliances are very important. the vacuum cleaner is also important for me. It facilitates my work. I am glad that there are technical devices that heat up the water and heat my room. I like to watch movies on TV. It would be better if I could read in this time or do sports. I do not want to do without technical devices.

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Könnte jemand bitte meine Englisch Argumentation korrektur lesen?


In Britain, children and teenagers can be given an ASBO if they do anything that is an antisocial behavior. It’s a way of punishing them for their actions instead of going to prison or similar punishments. An ASBO consists of several punishments like being forbidden to go to different areas of a town or to meet specific people.

The problem with ASBO’s is that they can give the person depression because they are socially isolated. Consequently, this can lead to self harm or depression in the worst cases. Secondly, their actions aren’t primarily punished they are prevented so that the child/teen won’t do it anymore. Furthermore, the things that are reported aren’t necessarily illegal sometimes it’s just something that might be annoying to others, like tattoos. Having said that, this might just be a way of showing personality. Reportedly, it has happened that someone was just given an ASBO because he looked scary and was always wearing a hood. Another thing to add is that the pictures that are hung up around town can be really embarrassing and can lead to harassment by others. On the other hand, ASBOS also have advantages. Many teenagers have their problems with school, friends etc. This might lead to some illegal actions like drinking or smoking. In addition to that, there often is some kind of group pressure. ASBO’s are a way of showing them that their actions are wrong and that there is a solution to their problems. For instance, it’s a way of identifying that their actions have been wrong. Another key thing to remember is that ASBO’s can keep the children/teenagers from going to prison and that would be way worse.

All things considered, I think that ASBO’s can be good for the young people to change their antisocial behavior. That way, they can understand that their actions have been wrong and change them for good.

...zur Frage

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