Hilfe bei einem Englisch aufsatz!

6 Antworten

A exciting fishing trip, I know I will still remember this day till I’m old. Because this was the most exciting day of my life. So I had to write this story down. It was a sunny weekend in the cabin, where we used to live. My father and me planned that Sunday we would go to a fishing trip, while my mom went to buy some pants. We got up very early to go on the trip. When we were near the river, a strange man told us about a problem with a wild black bear in their area. I was a bit scared, but we went on the trip anyway. When we arrived** at the** river, we saw that the man was right.** He also told us that the river was higher Although the river was higher.We went fishing, I was very happy, that I was the one, who caught the first delicious fish, it was a salmon**. But my luck ended soon, because we saw the first turbulences. They where the first and fastest turbulences I had ever seen. Suddenly my dad couldn’t hold on anymore and he fell into the water. It was difficult to drag him into the boat, but I did it. Unfortunately, his foot was broken. But our trip was not over, because of the dangerous bear which seemed to be hungry, we had seen. My dad said: when we pass the bear, we have to be quiet, then he would disappear. But the bear didn´t disappear. What could we do? And in that moment my dad took my fish without asking, and threw it to the river bank, the bear followed it and and he was gone. We were relieved, when we didn´t see the bear anymore, we went to the old bridge. There we saw the the black big bear again** it was a big suprise for us.** I was shocked at first because my dad couldn’t run away with his broken foot. Then I took a knife from my pocket, I thought I would never use it on this trip. But suddenly I heard a horn. I turned around and saw my mother with a shocked face. When I turned back, the bear had disappeared.** After this adventure I never saw the bear again.**

Spreche Englisch seitdem ich 3 bin, englischer kindergarten und meine schule jetzt ist auch englisch und meine halbe verwandschaft lebt in amerika.

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@NoLies

Dafür ist das echt ne schwache Leistung!

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@NoLies

@NoLies.

Trotzdem: Es heißt "to go ON a fishing trip." In einem Text "für die Schule" würde ich schreiben: "My father and I". Auch der Satz mit dem Bären ist nicht OK. Am Anfang muß es heißen, wie schon angemerkt: "An exciting... trip...".

Gruß, earnest

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An exciting fishing trip I know I will still remember until I’m old. Because this was the most exciting day in my life. So, I had to write this story down. It was a sunny weekend in the cabin, where we lived. On the first night my dad, my mom and I spoke about the following day. My father and I planned for Sunday to go to a fishing trip, whilst mum went to buy some paints. We got up really early to go on this trip. When we reached the river, a strange man told us about a problem with a stray black bear in their area. I was a bit scared, but we went on this trip anyway. When we arrived at the river, we saw that the man was right, when he had told us the river had been higher (?). Although the river was higher, we went fishing. I was really happy, that I was the one, who caught the first delicious fish. I guess the fish was a salmon. But my luck ended soon, because we saw the first rapids. It was the first and fastest rapids I had ever seen. Suddenly dad couldn1’t hold on anymore and he fell into the water. It was difficult to drag him into the boat, but I did it. Unfortunately, his foot was broken. But our trip was not over, because of the hungry dangerous bear, we had seen. My dad said, when we pasted the black animal, we had to be quiet and then he would disappear. But the bear didn't disappear. What could we had done? And this moment my dad took my fish without asking and threw it to the bank and the bear followed it and he went away. We were relieved, when we didn't see the bear anymore, so we went to the old bridge. There we saw the biggest surprise on this day, the black big bear again. I was shocked** at first,** my dad couldn’t run away with his broken leg. Then I took a knife out of my pocket, which I thought I would not use. But suddenly I heard a horn, so I turned around and my mother with a shocked face. When I turned back, the bear had disappeared. And I have never seen the bear again.

Was fett gedruckt ist, habe ich verbessert ;) Hoffe bist damit zufrieden!

An exciting fishing trip I know I will still remember this day till I’m old. Because this was the most exciting day in my life. So, I had to write this story down. It was a sunny weekend in the cabin, where we had lived. On the first night my dad, my mom and I talked about the following day. My father and I planned for Sunday to go to a fishing trip, during mum went to buy some paints. We got up really early to go on this trip. When we reached near the river, a strange man told us about a problem with a stray black bear in their area. I was a bit scared, but we went on this trip anyway. When we arrived the river, we saw that the man was right, when he had told us the river had been higher. Although the river was higher, we went to fishing. I was really happy, that I was the one, who caught the first delicious fish. I guess the fish was a salmon. But my luck ended soon, because we saw the first rapids. It was(bei Plural were) the first and fastest rapids I had ever seen. Suddenly dad couldn1’t hold on anymore and he fell into the water. It was difficult to drag him into the boat, but I did it. Unfortunately, his foot was broken. But our trip was not over, because of the hungry dangerous bear, we had seen. My dad said, when we pasted the black animal ,we had to be quiet and then he would disappear. But the bear didn´t dissappear. What could we had done?????? And in this moment my dad took without asking my fish and threw it to the bank and the bear followed it and and he was away. We were relieved, when we had seen the bear no more, so we went to the old bridge There we saw the biggest surprise on this day, the black big bear again. I was shocked at first moment, my dad couldn’t run away with his broken leg. Then I took a knife from my pocket, which I thought I would not use it. But suddenly I heard a horn,so I turned around and my mother with a shocked face(verb?). When I turned back, the bear had disappeared. And I had seen the bear never again. Danke im vorraus :D

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