Englische Grammatik, Kann jemand über meinen Aufsatz schauen?

...komplette Frage anzeigen

4 Antworten

Habe keine Lust alles zu korrigieren aber du solltest darauf achten, dass du bestimmte Wörter nicht immer in jedem Satz wiederholst ('rights' oder 'observance'). Von den Fachvokabeln her ist das schon höheres Niveau was sich allerdings mit der fehlenden bzw. deutschen Satzstruktur nicht genießen lässt. Der englische Satzbau ist nicht derselbe wie der deutsche. Sehr stark 'Denglisch'.

Ja ich weiß ich hab das nie richtig gelernt könntest du vielleicht ein, zwei Sätze die einen deutschen Satzbau haben schreiben und dann nochmal richtig in englisch korrigieren? so könnte ich sehen wie es richtig geht und übernehmen. Würde mir sehr helfen :)

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"Of course humans are all different! There are men and women, old people and young people, some have dark skin and some have light skin. Humans believe in different religions and wear different clothing. But whoever we are and whatever we think, none of us should be treated inequitable. Human rights are basic rights that should be acknowledged (weiß nicht genau was du da sagen willst, enjoyed geht aber auch denk ich) by all people, regardless of race, gender or religion. The first rule represents the freedom and equality of all humans, they all have the same rights and the same dignity since their birth. And therefore they should live together in fraternity. Up to World War II, each state could decide whether to acknowledge the human rights in their country. But in response to the massive violations of the human rights at that time, the UNO introduced a general acknowledgement of the human rights. Nevertheless there are still countries that won't accept the human rights completely, the best and current example of that is Russia. Homosexuals are not welcome or respected there. Even a classroom talk about that topic is punishable with imprisonment. Other human rights, for example to say ones opinion freely and in public or elections, are broken in Russia as well. The last elections of the affiliation of Ukraine are a good example for that: there were only glass voting booths, and it is illegal to say anything against the government. Unlike Russia, Germany contributes to the worldwide observance of the human rights. Since World War II a lot has been changing. The human rights are of great importance in Germany, for example, everyone has the right to life and freedom, while discrimination is forbidden. Also Germany takes asylum seekers and torture and slavery are prohibited as well. Additionally, there are no law differences between the different races, religions or ancestries.Solely between men and women there are small differences, for example in payment." (beim letzten halbsatz weiß ich nicht genau was du meinst) So hätte ich das geschrieben, aber guter text! ;) Natürlich kein Anspruch auf Vollständigkeit und (inhaltliche) Richtigkeit.

oh was für eine hilfe! danke für die ausführliche verbesserung! hast tzbau geändert? Ist der so okay? ein ganz großes danke dafür das du dir die zeit genommen hast! DANKE :)

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@fantasievoll

ich sehe gerade das du das richtig gut verbessert hast. danke nochmal! der text ist jetzt echt super!

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Of course, human are all different! There are man and woman, old and young Hier fehlt ein Stützwort, some have dark skin kein Komma and some have light skin. Human believe in different religions or wear different clothing. But however we are or think, none of us should be treated unfairly. Human rights are basic rights that should be enjoyed by all people regardless of race, gender or religion. The first rule is (---) freedom and equality of all humans,

neuer Satz oder andere Anbindung they have the same rights and dignity since its birth. And (kein Satzanfang) therefore they are to live together in brotherhood.

Up to the Second World War, could decide each state of observance of human rights in their own country (Word Order).

But in response to (---) massive human rights violations in that time, was a general observance of the rights introduced by the UNO (Word Order).

But (Wiederholung) still there are countries which the human rights not fully observe (Word Order)
andere Anbindung the best and current example of this is Russia**,

where homosexual like lesbian or gay people are not welcome (---**).

Only a teacher talk with children in a lesson about it is punishable by jail. (Word Order, Zeit, Ausdruck)

Also (kein Satzanfang) to say freely his opinion and free elections belong to the human right.

What is not possible in Russia, too.

For example Komma in the last elections to the affiliation of Ukraine there were either cabins of glass and only something to say against the state is not allowed.

Unlike (---) Russia contributes Germany to the worldwide observance of human rights. (Word Order)

Since the second world war has changed a lot. (Word Order)

In Germany are the human rights very important. (Word Order)

For example (s.o.) has everyone the right to life and freedom, (Word Order)

neuer Satz discrimination is forbidden, we take asylum seekers Komma and torture and slavery are prohibited anyway.

Also (s.o.), there are no differences between (---) skin colours, religion or ancestry,

neuer Satz

only by when man and woman there are small differences in,

for example (---)payment, but that is just balanced.

OMG! Das ist kein einziger Satz richtig.

Das Fettgedruckte muss korrigiert werden. Ich hoffe, ich habe nichts übersehen.

Für das Vokabular und die Rechtschreibung empfehle ich ein gutes (online) Wörterbuch, z.B. pons.com,

für die Grammatik ego4u.de und englisch-hilfen.de.

AstridDerPu

Of course, all humans are different! There are men and women, old and young ones, some have dark skin, and some have light skin. Humans believe in different religions or wear different clothing. But** whoever** we are or whatever we think, none of us should be treated unfairly. Human rights are basic rights that should be enjoyed by all people regardless of race, gender or religion. The first rule is the freedom and the equality of all humans, they have the same rights and dignity since their births. And therefore they are to live together in brotherhood.

Up to the Second World War, ** each state** could decide about the observance of human rights in their own countries. But in response to the massive human rights violations in that time, a general observance of the rights was introduced by the UNO. But still there are countries which do not fully observe [---] human rights , the best and current example of this is Russia.** Homosexuals[...] are not welcomed there. Only a teacher's** talk** his students** in a lesson about it is punishable by jail ...** the same is true with [...] saying** freely one's opinion.** Free** elections belong to the human rights, but this right is denied in Russia, too. * For example in the last elections to the affiliation of Ukraine there were either cabins of glass and only something to say against the state is not allowed.(1) Unlike in Russia Germany contributes to the worldwide observance of human rights. Since the second world war* things have changed a lot. Human rights very important in Germany*. For example everyone has the right to life and freedom, discrimination is forbidden, we take asylum seekers and torture and slavery are prohibited anyway. Also, there are no differences between [---] skin colours, religion or ancestry, only by when man and woman there are small differences in, for example the payment, but that is just balanced*(1)

(1) = unverständliches engl. Kauderwelsch

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