Englisch Text drüber schauen?

4 Antworten

I find (Wort) the behaviour of Candy's father inappropriate and totally out of place. He really wanted to pay her (wen?) for being nice to his daughter. Why did he want to pay her? She didn't ask (Grammatik) for it. He had expected (---) just like that, that she wanted to be paid for her kindness, but why (Komma) only because she is (Grammatik) dark-skinned. Does he find (Wort) that dark-skinned people are generally not friendly (kein Leerschritt)? Are dark-skinned people also not (Grammatik) allowed to be nice and help people voluntarily without asking for anything in return? This is an unjustified judgment. Would he have wanted to pay her if it (besser umformulieren und mit she weiterführen) had been a white person who was nice to his daughter(kein Leerschritt) ? Probably not. He doesn't know Becky, but only condemns her because of her skin color (= AE; BE = colour), because there can be no other reason (Warum kann es keinen anderen Grund geben?). He didn't even pay attention to Becky, although his daughter Candy pointed it (was?) out to him. He's not interested in her. Why does he find (Wort) (---) she's not worthy of his attention? I think it (Wort)'s sad. I think people should not be judged (Hier fehlt etwas) no matter where they come from, because basically we are all equal. We are all humans-- (Zeichensetzung) we all have red blood. It is normal that our appearance is different, it would be boring if everyone was (Grammatik) the same, so one should not limit oneself to (---) appearance. We all have the same rights. - auf 2 Sätze aufteilen.

  • Überprüfe nochmal die Zeiten. Du fängst beim Vater mit dem Past an, wechselst zum Present und dann wieder zurück zum Past.
  • Kurzformen (didn't, it's usw.) werden vorwiegend im gesprochenen Englisch verwendet. In der Schriftsprache dagegen - zumindest in formellen Schreiben - sollte man solche und andere Kurzformen vermeiden und stattdessen Langformen verwenden.

Das Fettgedruckte muss korrigiert werden. Ich hoffe, ich habe nichts übersehen.

Für das Vokabular und die Rechtschreibung empfehle ich ein gutes (online) Wörterbuch, z.B. pons.com,

für die Grammatik ego4u.de und englisch-hilfen.de - und Finger weg vom Google Übelsetzer und seinen tr.tteligen Kollegen!

:-) AstridDerPu

I consider the behavior of Candy's father inappropriate and totally out of place. He really wanted to pay her to be nice to his daughter. Why did he want to pay her? She didn't ask for it. He had expected her willing to get paid for her kindness, but only because she is dark-skinned. Does he think dark-skinned people generally aren't friendly? Do dark-skinned people aren't allowed to be nice and help people voluntarily without asking for anything in return as well? This is an unjustified judgment. Would he have wanted to pay her if it had been a white person who was nice to his daughter? Probably not. He doesn't know Becky, but only condemns her due to her skin color, because there can be no other reason. He didn't even pay attention to Becky, although his daughter Candy pointed it (her?) out to him. He's not interested in her. Why does he think she's not worthy of his attention? I think it's sad. I think people should not be judged, no matter where they come from, because basically we are all equal. We are all humans-- we all have red blood. It is natural that our appearance is different; it would be boring if everyone was the same, so no one should limit himself to the appearance. We all have the same rights. 

+++

Du verwendest "behaviour", aber "color" - d.h. du mischst britisches und amerikanisches Englisch - hab es "amerikanisch" korrigiert.

So würde ich es machen:

I think the behaviour of Candy's father inappropriate and totally out of place. He really wanted to pay her for being nice to his daughter. Why did he wanted to pay her? She didn't ask for it. He had expected it just like that she wanted to be paid for her kindness. And why ?only because she is dark-skinned. Does he find that dark-skinned people are in general not friendly ? Are dark-skinned people also not allowed to be nice and help people voluntarily without asking for something in return? This is an unjustified judgment. Would he pay her if she were white ? Probably not. He doesn't know Becky, but only condemns her because of her skin color. He didn't even pay attention to Becky, although his daughter Candy pointed it out to him. He's not interested in her. Why does he find something she's not worthy of his attention? I think it's sad. I think people should not be judged, no matter where they come from, because basically we are all equal. We are all humans-- we all have red blood. It is normal that our appearance is different, it would be boring if everyone was the same, so one should not limit oneself to the appearance. We all have the same rights. 

Du hast einiges verbessert, dafuer aber einige Fehler eingebaut.

"Why did he wanted to pay her" Das zum Beispiel war vorher richtig.

@ninna20042005 Je nachdem welcher Jahrgang das ist, gar nicht mal so schlecht.

3
@ChickPea

Dankeschön;) ich lerne gerade selber Englisch und verbessere mich halt.

1
@Hanni877

Untere Jahrgaenge. Bei Oberen Jahrgaengen 9 aufwaerts wuerde ich etwas mehr erwarten. Aber ich lebe weder in Deutschland noch bin ich Lehrer.

0

Moin,

Ich würde nicht unbedingt I find schreiben sondern eher I think that the be..

MfG. Lukas ;)

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