Kann mir jemand Englisch Sätze verbessern?

3 Antworten

In former times (Komma) everyone lived near their home due to (---) poor (besseres Wort?) transport (Ausdruck).

Cars changed that completely! (Ausdruck) Since their (wessen?) invention (Komma) people have been able to pursue their dreamjob (RS), even if it is further away (kein Komma) and explore new places. Consequently, people's minds broaden and they get the chance to have exciting experiences.

One has not (Verneinung) to ride a horse our (RS) walk for hours so as to get somewhere (Ausdruck).

Nobody can deny that cars were revolutionary since travelling became much easier and people are able to make a better use of time.

Some people say the world would be a better place (bessere Formuliernung?) because of their (wessen) greenhaus (RS) gas emission (Ausdruck; Punkt am Satzende.)

Das Fettgedruckte (nur die offensichtlichsten Fehler) muss korrigiert werden. Ich hoffe, ich habe nichts übersehen. Im Grunde aber müsste der Text komplett überarbeitet werden. Dann wäre es aber nicht mehr dein Text. Ganz davon ab, dass dein Lehrer nicht auf der Brennsuppe dahergeschwommen ist und sofort erkennen würde, dass der Text nicht auf deinem eigenen M ist gewachsen ist.

Für das Vokabular und die Rechtschreibung empfehle ich ein gutes (online) Wörterbuch, z.B. pons.com,

für die Grammatik ego4u.de und englisch-hilfen.de.

:-) AstridDerPu

(Vermutlich meintest du statt "near their home" eher "near their workplace", also nahe am Arbeitsplatz statt nahe an ihrem Zuhause?)
Due to the condition of not having access to any means of transportation to bypass long distances within a short range of time, most people were forced to live near their workplace.
This situation changed with the invention of the car. Now, people were able to apply for the jobs they wanted to have even if they couldn't afford to move into another town. Also, it enabled them to explore places far away from their place of living, and to take vacations abroad without spending a great quantity of money. 
Consequently, the car made it possible to experience the world in a whole new way.
Furthermore, one didn't have to ride a horse or to spend hours walking to reach one's destination anymore.
For these reasons, it's undeniable that the car was an disruptive invention.
(Da der Treibhauseffekt, bzw. die Klimaerwärmung, ja eher was Negatives ist, hab ich den folgenden Satz mal umgestellt, denke mal du meintest das auch so:)
Still, there's also a downside to cars- because of their high emissions of carbon dioxide, they're believed to be complicit in the climate change due to the greenhouse effect.

Und als Dank hierfür fänd' ich es schön, wenn du in Zukunft mal einige Serien / Bücher, die du magst, in Englisch ansehen / lesen könntest, oder z.B. bei englischsprachiger Musik einmal auf die Texte achten würdest, d.h. dir Mühe gäbest, ein besseres Sprachverständnis aufzubauen- glaub mir, diese Dinge helfen dabei :)

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Now, people were able to apply for the jobs they wanted to have even if they couldn't afford to move into another town. Also, it enabled them to explore places far away from their place of living, and to take vacations abroad without spending a great quantity of money. 
Consequently, the car made it possible to experience the world in a whole new way.
Furthermore, one didn't have to ride a horse or to spend hours walking to reach one's destination anymore.

Hast du dich da nicht ein wenig in der Zeit geirrt?

Beispiel; Furthermore, one does not have/does not need to ride a horse ........ anymore?

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@ChickPea

Ging in dem Fall doch um die Auswirkungen, die es auf die Menschen in der Vergangenheit hatte, also eigentlich nicht

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erster satz: jeder lebt in der nähe von zuhause, zu hause ist ja wo dein haus ist, und in dem wird man auch leben?

Englisch Written Discussion Verbesserungsvorschläge

Boot Camps in Germany !!!

Some people mean that the boot camps in the USA a good idea , but should be boot camps introduced in germany ?

Many people and parents says that boot camps are very good , because boot camps helps troublemakers to learn discipline. And when they learn discipline the crime rate will be go down. Second, the lessons in the school will be more quiet and than the students can better learn and have than better marks. As well the children will be trained they physical fitness and they learn to live healthy. When they used to the circumstances in boot camps, they will live in that way , when leaving the camp.

However, other people and parents are against boot camps, because they think that the children soon forget about boot camp and get in trouble again. Another argument against is the cost ! If boot camps are built in germany, the state would have many costs. The last argument is that many people say that children didnt learn discipline but should have been broken. People say that the boot camps are to hard for children and that the teachers in the camps are too strict.

After looking at both sides I think that boot camps shouldnt be built in germany. The advantages are very good, but the disadvantages are predominant.

Verbesserungsvorschläge für diesen Text wären hilfreich :)

...zur Frage

Könnte jemand bitte meine Englisch Argumentation korrektur lesen?

Asbos

In Britain, children and teenagers can be given an ASBO if they do anything that is an antisocial behavior. It’s a way of punishing them for their actions instead of going to prison or similar punishments. An ASBO consists of several punishments like being forbidden to go to different areas of a town or to meet specific people.

The problem with ASBO’s is that they can give the person depression because they are socially isolated. Consequently, this can lead to self harm or depression in the worst cases. Secondly, their actions aren’t primarily punished they are prevented so that the child/teen won’t do it anymore. Furthermore, the things that are reported aren’t necessarily illegal sometimes it’s just something that might be annoying to others, like tattoos. Having said that, this might just be a way of showing personality. Reportedly, it has happened that someone was just given an ASBO because he looked scary and was always wearing a hood. Another thing to add is that the pictures that are hung up around town can be really embarrassing and can lead to harassment by others. On the other hand, ASBOS also have advantages. Many teenagers have their problems with school, friends etc. This might lead to some illegal actions like drinking or smoking. In addition to that, there often is some kind of group pressure. ASBO’s are a way of showing them that their actions are wrong and that there is a solution to their problems. For instance, it’s a way of identifying that their actions have been wrong. Another key thing to remember is that ASBO’s can keep the children/teenagers from going to prison and that would be way worse.

All things considered, I think that ASBO’s can be good for the young people to change their antisocial behavior. That way, they can understand that their actions have been wrong and change them for good.

...zur Frage

Englisch Text korriegieren

Hallo kann jemand folgenden Text korrigieren? Dankeschön Dear Ben Russell, I read your article “Credit cards to ration individuals' carbon use“, which is published in newspaper The Independent in July19,2006. First of all I want to say that I think it's very good that there are people like you who think about the environment and of course about the problems which are exist. The suggestion is that every body has a credit-card with Carbon Dioxide points and if someone travels, use electricity, gas or petrol with carbon rations they have to pay. There is a special amount of this points and if you need more than your personal cap you have to buy credits on the open market. On the other side if there are people who cut the pollution of the carbon they produce, they could sell their surplus. Mr Miliband also suggests that banning products like light bulbs or electrical appliances which waste power while on standby, have to forbid. Everyone have to make automatic payments of offset pollution. I think this credit cards are not a good idea, because there would be a discrimination, because on the one hand rich people wouldn't cut their consume because they have the money to buy this credits. The most of them wouldn't take care about the environment. On the other hand the poor people have to take care about their carbon use. They haven't got the money to buy new credits. The result would be that the poor people take care and the richer people don't take care. Now you can say that it's maybe not a completely good result but now there are a few people who take care. Better than no one. But what is if the poorer people have to use the car everyday because they have to drive to work. They have to pay that they are working. This wouldn't make work more attractive. The poorer people are disadvantaged. Another cause why this credit cards are not a good idea is that you can't control it. There would be a lot of situations where are disagreements. For example if people drive together to work. Now who have to pay with carbon for that? The driver or the other ones? Another fact is that you can't handle everything with money. Everyone has to pay that the environment become better. But money doesn't help. You can't stop the global warming with money. My idea is that there have to be recompenses for those people who do something against the environment problems. There have to be individual things, which make environment protection very attractive and also necessary. It's very important that everybody knows about the problems and the results if we go on like this. All in all I think it's very good that there are people who think about a solution and things that can be do to stop the global warming. Nevertheless I think the credit-cards and money wouldn't be a good solution

...zur Frage

Outsourcing - Globalisation

Hallo meine Lieben,

habe einen Text im Bezug auf Outsourcing geschrieben. Fällt euch im Bezug auf Globalised Outsourcing noch etwas ein ? Und bitte seid so lieb und korrigiert den Text falls möglich :) Danke schonmal :)

Outsourcing is the act of one company contracting with another company to provide services that might otherwise be performed by in-house employees. Often the tasks that are outsourced could be performed by the company itself, but in many cases there are financial advantages that come from outsourcing. Many large companies now outsource jobs such as call center services, e-mail services, and payroll.

There are many reasons that companies outsource various jobs, but the most prominent advantage seems to be the fact that it often saves money. Many of the companies that provide outsourcing services are able to do the work for considerably less money, as they don't have to provide benefits to their workers and have fewer overhead expenses to worry about. Depending on location, it may also be more affordable to outsource to companies located in different countries.

Positive Aspects

• Some people can move easily from country to country. • Many people who dont have a good education get the opportunity to get better jobs. • Companies can produce their products much cheaper and outsource their production into other countries.

Negativ Aspects

• Many people who have a good education lose their jobs because they are more expensive than guest workers from developing countries. • Traditions as well as culture get lost. • There is no high living standard anymore.

...zur Frage

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