Englisch Aufsatz (Motorrad)
Hey Leute, wir haben in der Schule (11. Klasse Gymnasium ==> Schweiz) einen Englisch Aufsatz über unser liebstes Hobby schreiben müssen, ich hatte eine 4.75 (6 ist die beste Note), nun dürfen wir den Aufsatz noch einmal korrigieren und etwas verändern und das gibt dann nochmals eine Note, hab ich nun gemacht und wollte fragen ob ihr hier ev. noch iwelche Fehler / Verbesserungsvorschläge findet :)
English Essay (Revision)
In this essay I write about my favourite activity which clearly is riding my motorbike. I present the most important reasons why it is the best and most exciting thing I can imagine. There are also some points of disagreement which I will present. First of all I have to say that I love motorbikes most because they are so nice to look at, their colours, their shapes and last but not least their exhaust pipes which look quite good. The latter produce an extraordinary sound which is extremely attracting to me. Another reason why riding a motorbike is my favourite activity is that in spring and summer when the plants are green and the sun is shining it is such a good feeling riding my motorbike. Although it is quite a dangerous activity, there are so many motorcyclists on their way in fair weather, because it is so nice. Moreover a motorbike is not just nice to look at and great to ride, it is also such a handy thing. For example I can sleep twenty minutes longer in the morning because I do not have to go to the bus. I just sit on my bike and ride to school just in time. All in all riding a motorbike is a very gorgeous activity. It is a lot of fun but unfortunately it is very dangerous too. Nevertheless, I would suggest that everybody tries it once if they have the opportunity to do so. Luckily I have not had any accident yet, but unfortunately other people have been less lucky. Do not be afraid, try it out and form your own opinion. Eventually a citation of my favourite movie: “The juice is worth the squeeze.”, which means the risk is worth it to be done.
VIELEN DANK für die Hilfe (:
bitte überprüfe noch einmal die Kommasetzung (siehe auch meine erste Antwort:
- vor because steht kein Komma
- Komma steht nach **First of all, All in all, Luckily, Eventually, usw.
- a quote from my favourite movie
- the risk is worth taking
Danke vielmals für Deine Hilfe!! :)