Frage von Tennismaus13, 32

Wer kann meinen Englisch-Text berichtigen?

Hallo, wir sollten uns eine Geschichte zu einem Bild ausdenken und diesen auf Englisch schreiben!

Hier mein Text:

Hi, I`´m Merve!

My home country is Syria. I want to present you why I´m here in America. First of all, Syria is a country of political and religious prosecution. So my family and I, we suffered under the government because we couldn´t say our opinion freely. One day in 1956 my husband and some political follower, they tried to overthrow the government because they wanted a better future for our children. But one follower of the group was an informer. So he gave a secret tip to the government. One day later they killed my husband, the leader of the group. It was a terrible day that destroyed me internally. So you can see, my children and I, we don't have a future without fear and danger. This was the reason why we went to America. We hope for a better and fuller life with freedom, self-fulfilment and the political dream of democracy, But our voyage wasn´t as easy as we thought. Our family doesn't have a lot of money so we fighted with poverty all day long. In every country we crossed I had to work some weeks, before we can reached the next country. It was very striking for my children and me! But on the seventh of April in 1957 we got a glance of the statue of liberty for the first time. We had reached our goal. It was the beginning of a new life for all of us. Today we live in a rented house in a pretty village, Wiliamsburg (Virginia). I work as a employee in a factory. My children are grown up now and study politics. I hope they can realise their dreams of a political leader position, like my husband. I dreamt of a lucky future and to visit my friend in New Zealand because the last time I saw her was in Syria, before I fled.

Danke! Bin für jede Berichtigung sehr dankbar:)

Antwort
von edgarjack, 4


Hi, I'm Merve!


My home country is Syria. I want to present to you why I'm here in
America. First of all, Syria is a country of political and religious
prosecution. So my family and I, we suffered under the government
because we couldn't say our opinion freely. One day in 1956 my husband
and some political followers tried to overthrow the government
because they wanted to create a better future for our children. But one follower
of the group was an informer and he gave a secret tip to the government.
One day later they killed my husband, the leader of the group. It was a
terrible day that destroyed me internally. So you can see, my children
and I, we would never have had a future without fear and danger in syria. This was the reason why we went to America. We hoped for a better and fuller life with freedom, self-fulfilment and the political dream of democracy, but our
voyage wasn't as easy as we thought it would be. Our family didn't have a lot of money and we fought poverty each day. I had to work in every country we
crossed, before we had enough money to reach the next one. It was very hard for my children and me! Nevertheless, on April 7th in 1957 we got a glance at the statue of liberty for the first time. We had reached our goal. It was the beginning of a new life for all of us. Today, we live in a rented house in a pretty village, Wiliamsburg (Virginia). I work as an employee in a factory. My children
are grown up now and study politics. I hope they can realize their
dreams of a political leader position, like my husband. I dreamt of a
lucky future and of a visit to my friend in New Zealand because the last time
I saw her was in Syria, before I fled.

Dein Text ist ganz gut, hat nur Kleinigkeiten zu korrigieren gehabt und hab es in deinem Stil gelassen.



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