Frage von Tatjana159, 57

Ist der Text richtig geschrieben?

Könnte vielleicht jemand den Text für meine Präsentation durchlesen und korrigieren. Her full name is Angelina Jolie Voight. She is an American actress, film director, film producer and screenwriter. Angelina was born on the 4 June 1975 in Los Angeles in California as the daughter from the actor Jon Voight. That´s why her right and full name was Angelina Jolie Voight. But her relationship to her father wasn´t fine and she revised her name later to Angelina Jolie. Jolie was on the day of her birth only her second name. Now to her mother. Her mother was from the French part of Canada. But she died already in the year 2007. Her name was Marcheline Bertrand and was also an actress. But she finished her career and moved with Angelina and her other son Angelinas brother his name is James Haven, he is 42 years old and is an film actor too, to New York. She finished school and started with her career. But to her school life later. Her first marriage was already in 1996 with 19 years with Johny Lee Miller. The marriage lasts 3 years. Also her marriage with the 20 years older Billy Bob Thornton lasts only 3 years. She said she was still too young for so a step. Her husband now is Brad Pitt. She married him in 2014. All her husbands in the past und Brad Pitt are also actors. She has all in all 6 children, 3 of them are her own children from Brad Pitt and 3 other were adopted. Maddox, Pax Thien, Zahara Jolie- Pitt are adopted and Shiloh, Knox Léon an Vivienne Marcheline(twins) Jolie-Pitt are her own children. The people, who Angelina Jolie know, know she is a very beautiful and rich person. But what happened to her school time wasn´t near that description. With the age of eleven she came with her family back to Los Angeles and at first all seemed to be ok. She trained two years in a theatre school and played in some little plays. But after that as she come to the Moreno High School all good changed into bad. She was all the time bullied from her classmates and other pupils because of her fat lips and her skinny figure. Also her second hand clothes were a big problem in the school. All the pupils were from rich and wealthy families. She tried to get in the model business but she was without success. That pushed her ruffled ego completely to the bottom. She collected knives and hurt herself with them. With fourteen she broke up her spectacle training and wanted to be an undertaker. But two years later she decided to carry on with her training and her high school with success. 1993 begins Angelina Jolie's career as a professional actress with a little praiseworthy role in Cyborg 2. Two years later she starred in Hackers, where she met her first husband Jonny Lee Miller. In 2001, Angelina Jolie finally became an international superstar. Successes include the films Tomb Raider, Tomb Raider 2, Mr. & Mrs. Smith and Der gute Hirte. 2008 Angelina Jolie played in Der fremde Sohn, directed by Clint Eastwood the desperate mother Christine Collins, who is looking

Antwort
von HANSPAULKlAUS, 20

Hier die korrigierte Version:

Her full name is Angelina Jolie Voight. She is an American actress, film director, film producer and screenwriter. Angelina was born on the 4th of June in 1975 in Los Angeles, California as the daughter of the actor Jon Voight. That´s why her full name used to be Angelina Jolie Voight. But her relationship to her father wasn´t good and so she changed her name to Angelina Jolie. Jolie was only her second name on the day of her birth. Now to her mother. Her mother was born in the French part of Canada. But she past away in the year 2007. Her name was Marcheline Bertrand and she was also an actress. But she ended her career to move to new york with two children Angelina und james. Her brother James Haven, is 42 years old and is also an actor. She finished school and started her career. But more about her school life later. She got married to Johny Lee Miller in 1996, when she was only 19 years old.The marriage lasted 3 years. Her second marriage to the 20 year older Billy Bob Thornton lasted for only 3 years as well. She said that she was still too young for such a commitment. She is now married to Brad Pitt since 2014. All her husbands in the past und Brad Pitt are also actors. She has 6 children, 3 of which are her own with Brad Pitt and 3 other were adopted. Maddox, Pax Thien, Zahara Jolie- Pitt are adopted and Shiloh, Knox Léon an Vivienne Marcheline(twins) Jolie-Pitt are her own children. The people, that know Angelina Jolie, know she is a very beautiful and rich person. But what happened to her during her school time was nothing like that at all. At the age of eleven she moved back to Los Angeles with her family and at first all seemed to be ok. She went to a theatre school for two years and had some smaller roles during that time. But after that, as she went to the Moreno High School, all good changed into bad. She has been bullied by her classmates and other students all the time because of her fat lips and her skinny figure. Also her second hand clothes were a big problem at school. All the other students came from rich and wealthy families. She tried to get into the model business but without success. That pushed her ruffled ego completely to the bottom. She collected knives and hurt herself with them. With fourteen she broke up her acting training to become an undertaker. But two years later she decided to carry on with her training and her high school with success. In 1993 Angelina Jolie's career had its first success as a professional actress with a small praiseworthy role in Cyborg 2. Two years later she starred in Hackers, where she met her first husband Jonny Lee Miller. In 2001, Angelina Jolie finally became an international superstar. Successes including the films Tomb Raider, Tomb Raider 2, Mr. & Mrs. Smith and Der gute Hirte. 2008 Angelina Jolie played in Der fremde Sohn, directed by Clint Eastwood the desperate mother Christine Collins, who is looking

Es scheint so zu sein, als ob am Ende etwas fehlen würde. Vermutlich hat hier nicht mehr reingepasst. Wenn Du möchtest, kannst Du den Rest von dem Text noch posten, dann gucke ich nochmal drüber :-)
P.S: Ich habe den Text nach besten Wissenn und Gewissen korrigiert, kann Dir aber nicht garantieren, dass alles richtig ist.

Expertenantwort
von AstridDerPu, Community-Experte für Englisch, 6

Hallo,

hier nur der Anfang, denn der Text ist mir zu lang. Du wirst aber erkennen können, wonach du den restlichen Text noch einmal durchsehen und ändern solltest.

She is an American actress, film director, film producer and
screenwriter. Angelina was born on the (wird nur gesprochen, nicht geschrieben) 4 of (wird nur gesprochen, nicht geschrieben) June 1975 in Los Angeles in
California (Ort vor Zeit; Orts- und Zeitangabe ans Satzende)
as the daughter from (Präposition) the actor Jon Voight. That´s why her right (Wort) and full name was Angelina Jolie Voight. But her relationship to her father wasn´t fine and she revised her name later (Position) to Angelina Jolie.
Jolie was on the day of her birth only her second name. - (Satzstellung)

Now to her mother.

Her mother was from the French part of Canada. But she died
already in (the year - optional) 2007. Her name was Marcheline Bertrand and (Hier fehlt ein Prononmen) was also an actress. But she finished her career and moved with Angelina and her other son Angelinas (s-Genitiv) brother his name is James Haven, he is 42 years old and is an film actor too, to New York. - (Hier fehlen Kommas, Satzstellung; am besten machst du mehrere Sätze daraus) She finished school and started (---) her career.

But to her school life later. (Formulierung)

Her first marriage was already in 1996 with (Präposition) 19 years with (Präposition) Johny Lee Miller. The marriage lasts (Zeit) 3 years. - (Satzstellung) Also (kein Satzanfang) her marriage with (Präposition) (---) 20 years older Billy Bob Thornton
lasts (Zeit) 3 years. - (Satzstellung) She said she was still too young for so (denglish) a step.

Das Fettgedruckte muss korrigiert werden. Ich hoffe, ich habe nichts übersehen.

Für das Vokabular und die Rechtschreibung empfehle ich ein gutes (online) Wörterbuch, z.B. pons.com,

für die Grammatik ego4u.de und englisch-hilfen.de - und Finger weg vom Google Übelsetzer und seinen tr.tteligen Kollegen!

Kürze deine verschachtelten

Bandwurmsätze

oder mache mehrere Sätze daraus. Weniger ist manchmal mehr.

:-) AstridDerPu

Antwort
von dongnod, 11

Angelina was born on the 4 June

1975 in Los Angeles

California

and is the daughter of the actor Jon Voight.

      That´s why her full name is Angelina
Jolie Voight.

But the
relationship with her father wasn´t fine and she changed her name later to
Angelina Jolie.

Jolie was
on the day of her birth only her second name. Now to her mother.

But she finished her career and moved to New
York with Angelina and her other son, whose name is James Haven and 42 years
old, working as a film actor.

After finishing school she started her career.

But to her school life later.  Loeschen

Her first marriage was in 1996 at the age of 19
with Johny Lee Miller.

The marriage lasted 3 years

Also her marriage with Billy Bob Thornton who
is 20 years older than her lasted only 3 years.

She said she was still too young for such a
step.

All her husbands in the past und Brad Pitt are
actors.

She has 6 children, 3 of them are her own
children with Brad Pitt and the other were adopted.

The people, who know Angelina Jolie, know she
is a very beautiful and rich person.

But what happened to her school time
wasn´t near that description

At the age of eleven she came with her family
back to Los Angeles and at first all seemed to be ok.

She was trained for two years in a theatre
school and played in some little movies.

Antwort
von AliEli97, 34

Thats why her full name is (statt was)

Kommentar von AliEli97 ,

oh sorry hab nicht weiter gelesen

Kommentar von AliEli97 ,

stimmt mit was 😅

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