Frage von Freddie56, 41

Sätze verbessern - Englisch?

Könntet ihr die folgenden Sätze verbessern (kein Zusammenhang zwischen den Sätzen, nicht immer vollständig)

  1. What kind of sick world do we live in as we only make decisions as Samsung or Apple and feel like we’ve got the right to refuse helping people who are forced to choose between fleeing from their countries and dying?

  2. our society has become more open-minded according to some aspects

  3. Our society relies too much on technology.

  4. It's the same with (or in) our world

  5. All in all, I believe that every citizen should think about which politicians are really able to make a change and betterment in our society and which are only manipulating us.

  6. we have to give technology a lower value in our lives and try to become less depended on those devices.

  7. We should think about which social values we want to impart our children

  8. If we don’t start to rethink our society ...

LG DANKE

Expertenantwort
von AstridDerPu, Community-Experte für Englisch & Grammatik, 8

    Hallo,

    What kind of sick world do we live in (Komma) as we only make decisions
    as Samsung or Apple (Was soll das heißen?)
    and feel like we’ve got the right to refuse helping
    people who are forced to choose between fleeing from their countries
    and dying?


    (Du hättest Earnests Rat folgen und diesen Satz kürzen oder teilen.)

    our (RS) society has become more open-minded according to (Ausdruck) some aspects


    Our society relies too much on technology.


    It's the same with (or in) our world (Punkt) - Hier fehlt der Kontext. Wer oder was ist it?


    All in all, I believe that every citizen should think about
    which politicians are really able to make a change and betterment (Wort) in our
    society and which are only manipulating us.


    w(RS) have to give technology a lower value (Wendung) in our lives and try to become less depended (Wort) on those devices (Welche Geräte?).


    We should think about which social values we want to impart (Hier fehlt eine Präposition) our children (Punkt)


    If we don’t start to rethink our society ...(Komma)

    Das Fettgedruckte muss korrigiert werden. Ich hoffe, ich habe nichts übersehen.


    Für das Vokabular und die Rechtschreibung empfehle ich ein gutes (online) Wörterbuch, z.B. pons.com,


    für die Grammatik ego4u.de und englisch-hilfen.de - und Finger weg vom Google Übelsetzer und seinen tr.tteligen Kollegen!.


    AstridDerPu


Antwort
von Tulkas, 11





Expertenantwort
von earnest, Community-Experte für Englisch & Grammatik, 19

Schade, daß du meinen Rat nicht befolgt und den Bandwurmsatz unter Nr. 1 nicht entwurmt hast ...

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