Frage von nici2208, 19

Korrektur vom Englisch Aufsatz?

Hallo ! Wir schreiben bald eine Schularbeit in Englisch, ich bin der 10. Klasse . Ich bin eine echte Niete in Englisch, wirklich! Teil des SA- Stoffs ist es, einen Blog- Kommentar bzw. Blog zu schreiben, kann jemand meinen korrigieren? Also:

Hi Jamila,

My name is Nicole and I read your Blog about your problem yesterday. I must add I have never been caught in such a dilemma, so I dont have any experiences of forced marriage because my background is German. But I can give you advice. First of all, you live in Britain and there are different laws, so it isn´t as in common as in India. Forced marriage is forbidden. Of course, it doesnt bar that your father from marrying you with a Indian guy you don´t know. Tell him what you want, tell him your plans, your imaged future in a gently way. You have to talk with him, I know, you don´t want to hurt him but if you say nothing then your father hurts you all the time with this forced marriage. You´re strong and young woman and you´ve got your future and your dreams. Don´t let them destroy ! I wish you well,

Love, Nicole

Antwort
von tr1ckkyyy, 19

So würde es meines Wissens nach richtig sein.
Aber es ist doch kein schlechtes englisch..

Hi Jamila,

my name is Nicole and I've read your Blog about your problem yesterday. I must add I have never been caught in such a dilemma, so I don't have any experiences of forced marriage because my background is German. But I can give you an advice. First of all you live in Britain and there are different laws, so it isn´t as in common as in India. Forced marriage is forbidden. Of course, it doesn't bar that your father from marrying you with an Indian guy you don´t know. Tell him what you want, tell him your plans, your imaged future in a gently way. You have to talk with him, I know, you don´t want to hurt him but if you say nothing then your father hurts you all the time with this forced marriage. You are a strong and young woman and you´ve got your future and your dreams. Don´t let them destroy! I wish you the best for the future.

Love, Nicole

Kommentar von nici2208 ,

Danke für deine Hilfe ! :) Ich finde es interessant, wie viele Schreibweisen und Richtungen es in der Sprache gibt ,ich liebe Sprachen , auch wenn Englisch leider dazugehört ;) Ich war immer schon schlecht in Englisch, zumindest was die Noten angeht :D Aber naja..Hauptsache man kommt durch ;)

Antwort
von Uotroucr, 9

My name is Nicole and I read your blog about your problem yesterday. I must add I have never been _ in such a dilemma, so I don't have any experiences of forced marriage because I am a German / from Germany. But I can give you advice. First of all, you live in Britain and there are different laws, so it isn´t as _ (meinst du dass es nicht so oft vorkommt?)common as in India. Forced marriage is forbidden. Of course, it doesn't stop your father from marrying you with an Indian guy you don´t know. Tell him what you want, tell him your plans, your imagined future in a gentle (calm?) way. You have to talk to him, I know, you don´t want to hurt him, but if you say nothing then your father hurts you all the time with this forced marriage. You´re a strong and young woman and you´ve got your future and your dreams. Don´t let them get destroyed ! I wish you all the best,Love, Nicole

Ich bin selbst nicht so ein Englisch-Crack aber hier ist mal meine Verbesserung und ein paar besser klingende Alternativen

Lg

Kommentar von nici2208 ,

Danke :)

Expertenantwort
von AstridDerPu, Community-Experte für Englisch, 10

Hi Jamila,

My name is Nicole and I read your Blog (RS) about your problem yesterday. I must add I have never been caught in such a dilemma, so I dont (RS) have any experiences (Einzahl) of (Präposition) forced marriage because my background is German. But I can give you advice. First of all, you live in Britain and there are different laws, so it (was?) isn´t as (---) common as in India. Forced marriage is forbidden. Of course, it doesn(RS) bar that (Ausdruck)  your father from marrying you with (Präposition) a (Grammar) Indian guy you don´t know. Tell him what you want, tell him your plans, your imaged future (Ausdruck) in a gently (Wortart) way. You have to talk with him

(neuer Satz) I know (kein Komma)  you don´t want to hurt him (Komma) but if you say nothing (---) your father hurts (verletzt ???) you all the time with this forced marriage. You´re (Hier fehlt der unbestimmte Artikel.) strong and young woman and you´ve got your future and your dreams. Don´t let them destroy (Hier braucht es das Passiv.) !

I wish you well,

Love,

Nicole

Das Fettgedruckte muss korrigiert werden. Ich hoffe, ich habe nichts übersehen.

Für das Vokabular und die Rechtschreibung empfehle ich ein gutes (online) Wörterbuch, z.B. pons.com,

für die Grammatik ego4u.de und englisch-hilfen.de.

:-) AstridDerPu

Kommentar von JessieBeeD ,

hey nimm meine freundschaftsanfrage an

Kommentar von nici2208 ,

Danke Astrid für die Korrektur und die Tipps , hoffentlich merk ich mir was ;)

Antwort
von DPower16, 10

Hi Jamila,

my name is Nicole, I'm from Germany and yesterday I read your blog about your problem. I must add that I have never been in a similar situation, so I dont have any personal knowledge about forced marriage. I want to give you some advice anyways.
First of all, you live in Britain and there are different laws to prohibit forced marriage, so it isn´t as common as in India. Of course, it doesn
t stop your father from getting you married with an Indian guy that you don´t know. Tell your father what you want and about your plans for the future in a gentle way. You have to talk to him, I know, you don´t want to hurt him but if you stay quiet, your father will get you into something that's not right for you. You´re a strong and young woman and you´ve got your own dreams and future to plan. Don´t let him destroy it!
I wish you all the best,

Love, Nicole

So würde ich sagen :)
Hab versucht deine Sprache ein bisschen beizubehalten, sodass dein Lehrer nicht direkt was merkt :D

Kommentar von nici2208 ,

Dankeschön - du hast mir sehr geholfen :D Man merkt irgendwie, dass ich nicht die beste in Englisch bin :D Deine Schreibweise gefällt mir sehr, hoffentlich kann ich mir ein bisschen was von dir bei der SA abschauen ;) Danke !

Antwort
von Bueeegraaa, 9

"You live in Britain and the laws there are different, forced marriage is forbidden. That`s why it isn`t as common as in India."

"Of course, it is wrong if your farther wants you to marry a with an Indian guy you don`t know."

"I understand you don`t want to hurt him, but this marriage will hurt you in the future even more."

"Your are a strong, young and beautiful woman, you have got your own future and your own dreams! Don`t let your farther destroy them and you life"

"I hope you take the right decision, 

in Love, Nicole"

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