Frage von Kindabenita, 22

Kann mir Bitte jemand helfen, den folgenden Text Korrektur zu lesen. Mir geht es besonders um die zeitform und in welche zeitform ich schreiben muss?

The movie is about the boy "Jess Aarons" who is in his family negelected compared with his four sisters. His hobbies are running and pating. In school he is bullied from his classmates. One day was a worth race for him, because he wants recognition from the others studends. Jess almost won the race but then a new classmate "Leslie Burke" who is also a new neighbour from him overtaken him, but she wasn't allow to run in the race, because she is  a girl. Jess was very angy at her and he didn't like her. But she was also not popluar and they became friends. Together they went in a forest with a big lake, over the lake was a big rope. To across the lake, they jumped with the rope over it. On the othere side Leslie and Jess created their own utopia called "Terabithia " with giants, gnomes and mystical creature and they was the kings from all. Moreover the realationship between they gets near. One day "Miss Edmunds" the music teacher of jess and Leslie saw Jess art and invite him to a trip to the museum. The day as they was in the museum, Leslie went alone i to the lake. As she wants to across the lake, the rope rip and she died. Jess gave himself the blame of death because he could have taken her to the museum too: To surmount his mouring he built a bridge over the lake and he crowed his little sister "May Belle" to the princess of Terabithia.

Antwort
von Oubyi, 16

Der Text strotzt nur so von Fehlern. Ich bin auch nicht SO fit in Englisch, aber da ich gerade Zeit habe, verbessere ich mal (ohne Gewähr), was mir so auffällt:

The movie is about the boy Jess Aarons, who is in his family neglected
compared to his four sisters. His hobbies are running and pating (was soll das heißen? painting?). In school he is bullied by his classmates. One day is a worth race (was ist das?) for him, because he wants recognition from the other students. Jess almost wins the race but then a new classmate, Leslie Burke, who is also a new neighbor of him, overtakes him. But she wasn't allowed to run in the race, because she was  a girl. Jess is very angry at her and he doesn't
like her. But she is also not popluar and they become friends. Together
they go into a forest with a big lake. Above the lake there is a big rope. To
cross the lake, they jump with the rope over it. On the other side
Leslie and Jess create their own utopia called "Terabithia " with
giants, gnomes and mystical creatures and they are the kings of all.
Moreover the relationship between them gets closer. One day Miss
Edmunds the music teacher of Jess and Leslie sees Jess's art and invites
him to a trip to the museum. The day when they are in the museum, Leslie
goes alone  to the lake. As she wants to across the lake, the rope rips
and she dies. Jess gives himself the blame for her death because he could have taken her to the museum too. To surmount his mourning he builts a bridge over the lake and he crowns his little sister "May Belle" to the
princess of Terabithia.

Ich habe mal alles ins Präsens gesetzt, denn so kenne ich das.
Sicherlich sind da noch einige Fehler drin, aber wohl nicht mehr ganz so viele.

Kommentar von Kindabenita ,

Dankeschön und hat mir sehr geholfen :-)

Kommentar von Oubyi ,

Gern geschehen 😉

Expertenantwort
von AstridDerPu, Community-Experte für Englisch, 12


The movie is about the boy "Jess Aarons" who is in his family negelected (RS) compared (Präposition) his four sisters (Word Order). His hobbies are running and pating (Wort).

In (Präposition) school he is bullied from (Präposition) his classmates. One day was a worth (Wort) race for him (kein Komma) because he wants (Grammatik) recognition from the others (Grammatik, Wort) studends (RS). Jess almost won the race but then a new classmate "Leslie Burke" who is also a new neighbour from (Präposition) him (besser: s-genitiv) overtaken (Grammatik) him, but she wasn't allow (Grammatik) to run in the race (kein Komma) because she is  a girl. (Zeichensetzung im gesamten Satz.)

Jess was very angy (RS) at (Präposition) her and he didn't like her. But she was also not (Grammatik; Ausdruck) popluar and they became friends. Together they went in a forest with a big lake, over the lake (Hier fehlt eubn Wort.) was a big (Wort) rope.

To across (Wort) the lake, they jumped with the rope over it (Satzstellung, Vokabular, Präposition, Formulierung). On the othere (RS) side (Komma) Leslie and Jess created their own utopia called "Terabithia " with giants, gnomes and mystical creature (Grammatik) and they was (Grammatik) the kings from (Präposition) all (Ausdruck).
Moreover (Komma) the realationship (RS) between they (Pronomen) gets (Grammatik) near (Wort).

One day (Komma) "Miss Edmunds" the music teacher of jess (RS; s-genitiv) and Leslie saw Jess art (Grammatik) and invite (Grammatik)  him to a trip to the museum.

The day as (Wort) they was (Grammatik) in the museum, Leslie
went alone (Wort) i to (RS) the lake (Word Order).

As (Wort) she wants (Grammatik) to across (Wort) the lake, the rope rip (Grammatik) and she died (Grammatik). Jess gave himself the blame (Ausdruck) of (Präposition) (Hier fehlt ein Pronomen.) death because he could have taken her to the museum too:

To surmount (Wort) his mouring he built (Grammatik) a bridge over (Präposition) the lake and he crowed (RS) his little sister "May Belle" (---) the princess (RS) of Terabithia.

- Namen nicht in Anführungszeichen setzen

- Summaries werden in der Regel im Present geschrieben. Handlungen aus der Vergangenheit können aber durchaus auch im Past Simple und Present Perfect stehen.



- The summary is usually written in the present tense.


- But past events may be reported in the past, future events may be reported in the future.


- Statements or questions which were made in the past may be reported in the past tense or the past perfect.


- Statements and questions which were made in the past but concern the future may be reported in the conditional



(Quelle: kfmaas.de/summary0.html)






Das Fettgedruckte muss korrigiert werden. Ich hoffe, ich habe nichts übersehen.



Für das Vokabular und die Rechtschreibung empfehle ich ein gutes (online) Wörterbuch, z.B. pons.com,



für die Grammatik ego4u.de und englisch-hilfen.de - und Finger weg vom Google Übelsetzer und seinen tr.tteligen Kollegen!



:-) AstridDerPu

Expertenantwort
von Bswss, Community-Experte für Englisch & Schule, 14

SO VIEL Text kann und will ich nicht korrigieren.

Hier mal einige Korrekturen:

Komma vor "who"

who, unlike his  sisters, is neglected (Wortstellung!!!!) by his family

"pating" gibt's nicht.

he is bullied by his classmates (PASSIV!)

One day there is an important day for him...

students

almost wins the race

... who also is one of his neighbours...

overtakes him....

Eine SUMMARY schreibt man im PRÄSENS!!!


Leslie goes...

When she wants to cross.....

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