Frage von musikfranzi, 30

Kann jemand über meinen englischen Pro and con Text schauen?

Hallo Leute, Ich schreibe demnächst eine englisch arbeit, bei der entweder eine listening task drankommt oder ein pro und con text. Zur Übung habe ich einen mal zuhause geschrieben, allerdings habe ich niemand, der drüber schauen kann. Da habe ich gedacht, ich könnte euch einmal fragen. Wäre echt nett wenn ihr euch mein schreckliches Englisch antut und mal nach Fehlern schaut. Danke schon mal, Eure Franzi 

More physical activities for german children and teens? Should german schools have more sports competitions between each other, like american schools? 

Well, on the one hand, the pupils would have more social activities than at "normal" school days. They could meet new friends! And sport demands the pupils' self confidence, too, because if they aren't really good at school but good in sports they could be happier. Also, sport is a pretty better free-time activity than spending time for example hanging on their mobile, watching TV or playing video games. And the girls and boys, who don't like the sports at the competitions, could become cheerladers and cheer their friends and teams. 

But on the other hand, if it's a pretty hot summer or a pretty cold winter, a lot of pupils don't want to do sports. Maybe some students play in a club. They could be overstrained or they hurt themselves. Other athletics could mean the competitions to important and they will play unfair. But there are unathletic students ans the athletic ones could mob them. They could be ashamed of themselves. Summarized, there's an relative high risk to be hurt wether if psychic or physical. 

Well, I'm divided. A few sports competitions are ok, but the schools shouldn't exaggerate the numbers of them. There are contests like "Jugend trainiert für Olympia" in Germany. That's not too much. Or the students could arranged themselves an event.

Hilfreichste Antwort - ausgezeichnet vom Fragesteller
von AstridDerPu, Community-Experte für Englisch & Grammatik, 13

More physical activities for german (RS) children and teens? Should german (RS)
schools have more sports competitions between (Wort) each other, like american (RS) schools? 

Well, on the one hand, the pupils would have more social activities
than at (Präposition) "normal" school days. They could meet new friends! And (kein Satzanfang) sport demands the pupils' self confidence (Wendung) , too, because if they aren't really good at school but good in (Präposition) sports (Komma) they could be happier.

Also (kein Satzanfang), sport is a pretty (Wort) better free-time activity than spending time for example (Ich würde for example in Kommas setzen) hanging
on their mobile (Plural), watching TV or playing video games. And (s. o.) the girls and
boys, who don't like the sports at (Präposition) the competitions, could become
cheerladers (RS) and cheer their friends and teams. 

But on the other hand, if it's a pretty hot summer or a pretty (Wiederholung) cold
winter, a lot of pupils don't want to do sports. Maybe some students
play in a club. They could be overstrained or (---) hurt themselves.
Other athletics (Wort) could mean (Wort) the competitions to (RS) important and they will play (Zeit) unfair. But there are unathletic students ans (RS) the athletic ones
could mob (Wort) them. They could be ashamed of themselves. Summarized, there's
an (RS/Grammatik) relative (Wortart) high risk to be hurt wether (RS) if (Wort) psychic or physical (Formulierung). 

Well, I'm divided. A few sports competitions are ok, but the schools
shouldn't exaggerate the numbers of them (Formulierung). There are contests like
"Jugend trainiert für Olympia" in Germany. That's not too much. Or the
students could arranged (Grammatik) themselves an event (Formulierung).

Das Fettgedruckte muss korrigiert werden. Ich hoffe, ich habe nichts übersehen.

Für das Vokabular und die Rechtschreibung empfehle ich ein gutes (online) Wörterbuch, z.B. pons.com, für die Grammatik ego4u.de und englisch-hilfen.de - und Finger weg vom Google Übelsetzer und seinen tr.tteligen Kollegen!.

AstridDerPu

Kommentar von musikfranzi ,

Vielen vielen Dank! Echt nett dass du drüber geschaut hast, ich weiß jetzt auch, wo meine Probleme liegen.

Antwort
von Prinzessin1310, 13

Also dein Text ist wirklich sehr gut gelungen und ich hätte da keine Verbesserungsvorschläge:)!

Kommentar von Prinzessin1310 ,

& dein Englisch ist nicht schlecht!:)

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