Frage von puppy0700, 34

Kann jemand meine English-Text kontrollieren?

Ich brauche unbedingt eine Rückmeldung für mein Englisch-Text. Fehler (in z.B. Grammatik, Rechtsschreibung...), Verbesserungen, Anmerkung, Hinweise sind erwünscht. Außerdem könnt ihr bitte sagen ob den Text zur Aufgabe passt und ob die Textlänge überhaupt sinnvoll oder nicht (weil in der Aufgabe steht, dass ich ein Komment schreiben soll aber ich bin mir nicht sicher wie lang soll ein Komment sein)

Vielen Dank.


Aufgabe: How can girls/women cope with the many different expectations placed on them? Write a comment.

It seems to me that there are too many different expectations are placed on women/girls. They have to be a good wife and mother at home, an exemplary pupil at school, they have to be beautiful in the media, and also they have to be “warm” at work and not bossy. From my point of view, most of the people are expecting women to be a perfect human being, and I am certain that it is impossible for women to satisfy all the expectations that are placing on them. That is why I think it is important for women to know how to cope with the many different expectations. First of all, I think they must try to be themselves. They should learn to love themselves, be proud of what they archived in life and be satisfied with their personal best. They shouldn’t force themselves and mustn’t be controlled by other people’s judgements or criticism, but live a life with no regret. Second of all, I think women should set their life goals. The advantages of having life goals are to give them clarity on their end vision and be the best they can be. It will help them understand which expectations are realistic, which are not and realize what they should focus on in life. Third of all, women shouldn’t be ashamed to talk about their limits. Everyone is unique and special in different ways. Each person born into this world has been granted with special skill, talents or ability. They might not be as beautiful or smart as their friends or co-workers, but they definitely have something that is more charming or more special than their friends or co-workers. To summarize, I must admit that expectations can motivate women and drive them to try harder, but too many different expectations might burn them out and make them feel stressful.

Hilfreichste Antwort - ausgezeichnet vom Fragesteller
von winter2ice, 9

Also allgemein kann man sagen, dass ein comment lang genug ist, wenn man alles gesagt hat, was es zu sagen gibt. Meistens ist es eine Seite lang; kann aber auch deutlich länger werden. Vor allem bei deiner Fragestellung hier hätte man sich alles aus den Fingern saugen können.

Ich finde deine Argumente und Beispiele ziemlich überzeugend, da die Fragestellung wie schon gesagt sehr allgemein formuliert ist. Allerdings machst du hier einige verallgemeinerungen die man bei bestem Willen nicht mehr politisch korrekt nennen kann. Jeder Mensch ist anders und man sollte nicht jede Frau auf irgendwelche Erwartungen reduzieren. Wenn du magst kannst du diesen punkt noch als Fazit zum abrunden deines comments an den Schluss packen.Trotzdem kopiere ich mal den Text hier rein und markiere dir mal was formal besser wäre:

It seems to me that there are too (kann man in dem Fall weglassen) many different expectations are (hier verwendest du "are" schon zum zweiten mal im Satz. Das hier dann bitte streichen) placed
on women/girls. They have to be a good wife and mother at home, an
exemplary pupil at school, they have to be beautiful in the media, and
also they have to be “warm(charming passt eher) at work (and not) (instead of being bossy sorgt für mehr Vielfalt in deinem Stil)bossy. From my point of
view, most of the(fett gedrucktes hier bitte weglassen) people are expecting women to be a perfect human (perfect human beings in der Mehrzahl ist hier angemessener)
being, and I am certain that it is impossible for women to satisfy all
the expectations that are placing (placed) on them. That is (the reason why i think klingt schöner) why I think it is
important for women to know how to cope with the many different
expectations (expectations hast du hier sehr oft geschrieben. Durch "them" ersetzen in dem Fall)
. First of all, I think they must try to be themselves. They
should (hier macht der neue Satz keinen Sinn. Verwende linking words wie furthermore oder additionally)
learn to love themselves, be proud of what they archived (achieve) in life
and be satisfied with their personal best (hier versteht man nicht ganz was mit dem persönlichen Besten gemeint ist. Besser umschreiben mit "be satisfied with their very own accomplishments"). They shouldn’t force
themselves and mustn’t be controlled by other people’s judgements or
criticism, but live a life with no (without) regrets. Second of all, I think women
should set their (own) life goals. The advantages of having life goals are to
give them clarity on their end vision (hier wieder vom Verständnis undeutlich. ambitions als Alternative) and be the best they can be. It
will help them understand which expectations are realistic, which are
not and realize what they should focus on in life. Third of all, (Eine Auflistung mit "Firstly, Secondly usw." ist nicht so vielseitig. Besides usw. für mehr Variation) women
shouldn’t be ashamed to talk about their limits. Everyone is unique and
special in different ways. Each person born into this world has been
granted with special skills, talents or abilities. They might not be as
beautiful or smart as their friends or co-workers, but they definitely
have something that is more charming or more special than their friends
or co-workers. To summarize, I must admit that expectations can motivate
women and drive them to try harder, but too many different expectations
might burn them out and make them feel stressed out.

Ich hoffe ich konnte dir mal ein wenig weiterhelfen.

Antwort
von di123, 16

Ja das ist richtig .Du hast in Reihe 23 "and Live a life with no regret .

Kommentar von di123 ,

Sorry ich habe l groß geschrieben es muss klein life

Antwort
von AstridDerPu, 11


It seems to me that there are too many different expectations are (1 x are zuviel) placed on women/girls. They have to be a good wife and mother at home, an exemplary pupil at school, they have to be beautiful in the media, and also (Position) they have to be “warm” (???) at work and not bossy. - Besser im Plural good wives and mothers, ...

From my point of view, most (---) people are expecting (Grammatik) women to be a perfect human being (besser Plural, s.o.), and I am certain that it is impossible for women to satisfy all the expectations that are placing (Grammatik) on them.

That is why I think it is important for women to know how to cope with the many different expectations.

First of all, I think they must try to be themselves. They should learn to love themselves, be proud of what they archived (Wort) in life
and be satisfied with their personal best (mit ihrem persönlichen besten?).  They shouldn’t force themselves (sich wozu zwingen?) and mustn’t (= nicht dürfen) be controlled by other people’s judgements or
criticism (kein Komma) but live a life with no regret.

Second of all (Ausdruck), I think women should set their life goals (Formulierung). The advantages of having life goals are to
give them clarity on their end vision and be the best they can be.
(unverständlich)

It will help them understand which expectations are realistic, which are
not and realize what they should focus on in life.

Third of all (Ausdruck), women shouldn’t be ashamed to talk about their limits. Everyone is unique and special in different ways. Each person born into this world has been granted (Grammatik) (---) special skill, talents or ability (Plural). They might not be as beautiful or smart as their friends or co-workers, but they definitely have something that is more charming or more special than their friends or co-workers (Der Vergleich have sth than their friends ... stimmt nicht.).

To summarize, I must admit that expectations can motivate
women and drive them to try harder, but too many different expectations
might burn them out and make them feel stressful (Ausdruck).


Das Fettgedruckte muss korrigiert werden. Ich hoffe, ich habe nichts übersehen.



Für das Vokabular und die Rechtschreibung empfehle ich ein gutes (online) Wörterbuch, z.B. pons.com,



für die Grammatik ego4u.de und englisch-hilfen.de - und Finger weg vom Google Übelsetzer und seinen tr.tteligen Kollegen!



:-) AstridDerPu

Kommentar von puppy0700 ,

Kann ich sagen, "they might not be as beautiful or smart as their friends or co-workes, but they definitely have something more charming or special, which their friends or co-workers don't have"?

Antwort
von Kleboy, 13

Zeile 3 they also have to... Nicht also they.

Zeile 6 placed

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