Frage von cupcaketk, 56

Ist mein Englisch Text so richtig?

Ich muss eine Englisch Präsentation über mein Auslandspraktikum halten weiß aber nicht, ob der Text so richtig ist. Könnte vielleicht jemand mal darüberschauen, ob das alles so in Ordnung ist?

1.) The company

My internship abroad was in Turkey, Antalya in a hotel named Majesty Club La Mer. It was founded in 1992. There are eight other hotels (of one to five stars) in Kemer, Mugla and Aydin. The hotel has a lobby, a library, several restaurants and bars, 2 outdoor swimming pools, an indoor swimming pool, a children’s playground, a kiosk and a clothing store with a gift shop. Total there are 314 rooms. The rooms are equipped with an air conditioning, minibar, safe, TV, bathroom, bed, cooking area, microwave, desk and a terrace.

2.) The arrival

On 17. October 2015 I flew to Antalya (second on 23 December 2015). The family from my boyfriend picked me up from the airport. I was allowed to live with them for 4 weeks. I got my own apartment there because the building belongs to them. There were two bathrooms, a living room, a kitchen and 4 more rooms where you could sleep. On the terraces you had a beautiful view of the city and the mountains.

3.) My tasks

In the first two weeks I worked in the restaurant. My daily working period was from 6 am to 3 pm with a break from 10 am to 11 am. My tasks was to set the table and to clear them up, to take orders and to greet the guests. In the other two weeks I worked at the bar. There was my working period from 10 am to 6 pm with a break from 2 pm to 3 pm. My tasks was to make drinks and then to serve them to the guests. A lot of vacationers could speak English and a few could speak German too. So it was easier to communicate with them, even though you couldn’t understand everything they said because of the pronunciation.

4.) My spare time activities

In my spare time I spent the most time by the sea. I swam, I sunned myself, or relaxed. I was in the city, went shopping and visited the Atatürk statue. Every evening there was a water show which I watched. I liked it very much and it looked very nice.

5.) My final review

Taken as a whole was the internship very funny. I’ve gained many experiences and met new people. The people were very nice and open even though there were a few problems with the communication. The hotel was very nice too. That’s the reason why I would do the internship again and would recommend it.

Hilfreichste Antwort - ausgezeichnet vom Fragesteller
von earnest, Community-Experte für Englisch, 14

Insgesamt liest sich das recht gut; es gibt aber einige Dinge, die noch besser sein könnten, zum Beispiel: 

-Ersetze "Total there are".

-Streiche "an" vor "air conditioning". 

-Korrigiere das erste Datum. 

-my boyfriend's family 

-bedrooms für "Schlafzimmer"

-my tasks were 

-I went to the city 

-On the whole, the internship was a valuable experience. 

-I gained

Gruß, earnest

Antwort
von Loveschocolate, 41

Also hab das ganze jetzt mal überflogen und gerade sind mir keine großen Fehler aufgefallen

Antwort
von SoMean, 32

Ich würde air condition sagen
Statt 'Rooms where you could sleep' vllt sleepingrooms.
Nicht 'view of the city' sondern eher at oder on bin mir nicht sicher

"My tasks WERE..." nicht 'was' weil es mehrere sind. Hast du 2x drin.

"A few guest spoke english too"

Statt 'visit' the Statue würde ich besichtigen nehmen.

& statt watched the Show - visited the show

The internship was...

'Statt people were..." und "were a few problems" würde ich has bzw have been nehmen

Kommentar von SoMean ,

und statt 2 mal working period würde ich einmal "there I worled form .. to ..."

Kommentar von SoMean ,

und man spricht "on the 17th of October"

Kommentar von SoMean ,

und "picked me up at the airport"

Kommentar von earnest ,

Deine Vorschläge finde ich nicht sehr hilfreich, da sie auch einige Verschlimmbesserungen enthalten, aber kaum echte Verbesserungen. Korrekt wären z.B. "bedrooms" und "English" sowie "guests".

Kommentar von SoMean ,

aber die andere Antwort war hilfreich oder was? & ich bin mitm Handy online, da habe ich mich man vertippt und ein 's' vergessen und 'English' klein geschrieben (Weltuntergang) also chill mal ^^ und übertreib mal nicht mit Verschlimmbesserungen, da sind einige Sachen in dem Text doof formuliert & ich hab auch gesagt ich bin mir bei manchen nicht sicher. ich würde den so oder so ganz anders schreiben und ein paar meiner Vorschläge sind ja wohl richtig also get a life. -.-

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