Frage von CrazyPopcorn, 27

Ist dieser englische Comment gut?

In the following I am going to analyze the refugies problem. I suppose they help us and make our life such easier.

There are many points of view issues to consider. I begin with one con. It is often claimed that refugies steal the work from the germans. That is false! According to the latest stats, often people don´t want to work. The statistic says that in germany over 100.000 jobs are not occupied.

Now I come tho the pros. In Germany the average of age is really high. With the many, mostly young refugies the average is going to be lowered. It is a well-known fact that the most refugies want to work to help their family, which stayed in their homeland. i am convinced that many craft jobs are going to occupied.

To sum up I can say that I will support the refugies, because they are very useful and long-term Germany becomes even better in the economy.

Bin in der 10. Klasse Gymnasium.

Expertenantwort
von AstridDerPu, Community-Experte für Englisch, 15

In the following I am going to analyze the refugies (Grammatik) problem. I suppose they help us and make our life such (Wort) easier.

There are many points of view issues (Wort) to consider. I begin with one
con. It is often claimed that refugies (RS) steal (---) work from the germans (RS). That is false! According to the latest stats (Wort), often people don´t want to work. (Satzstellung) (---) statistic (Wort) says that in germany (RS) over 100 (Komma) 000 jobs are not occupied (Ausdruck). (Satzstellung)

Now I come tho (RS) the pros. In Germany (Komma) the average of age is really high. With the many, mostly young refugies (RS; Komma) the average is going to be lowered. It is a well-known fact that  the most (Ausdruck, Grammatik) refugies (s.o.) want to work to
help their family, which stayed in their homeland (Plural). i (RS) am convinced that many craft jobs are going to occupied (Grammatik).

To sum up (Komma) I can say that I will support the refugies (s.o.) (kein Komma) because they are very useful and long-term (Ausdruck) Germany becomes even better in (---) economy.

Das Fettgedruckte muss korrigiert werden. Ich hoffe, ich habe nichts übersehen.

Für das Vokabular und die Rechtschreibung empfehle ich ein gutes (online) Wörterbuch, z.B. pons.com,

für die Grammatik ego4u.de und englisch-hilfen.de - und Finger weg vom Google Übelsetzer und seinen tr.tteligen Kollegen!

:-) AstridDerPu

Kommentar von CrazyPopcorn ,

Danke wird gemacht

Antwort
von BlueSky1119, 27

Es sind diverse Stellen die man nicht so sagen würde im Englischen. Ich denke jedoch, dass es deine Hausaufgaben ist, die auch du gemacht haben solltest, und nicht andere Menschen für dich. Immerhin wirst du, für deine erbrachte Leistung benotet und nicht wir. 

Weiters ist es die Aufgabe deines Lehrers dir Englisch beizubringen und deine Fehler auszubessern. 

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