Frage von denizliboy, 285

Ist diese Analyse grammatikalisch richtigund habt ihr Tipps (Ich habe leider in Englisch schwierigkeiten)?

The text “This is not a good place to live” by Afua Hirsch written in December 2013 consists of a heading and seven parts. The introduction part consists of one part.There you are informed about the generically situation in Agbogbloshie.The electric waste comes in Agbogloshie from all over the world and Karim a 29 years old boy buying and selling at the dump,for 10 years.The author wants the regard of the readers in line 1”but especially from Europe”.This hyporble serves for our wariness because the most e-waste come from ourselves,also the author means we must watch. In the second paragraph you learn the UNs want to solve the e-waste problem.They warn the global volume of such refuse is set to grow by 33% over the next years.The author repeat the importance the e-waste on the world. In the next passage is shown the working methods of the workers.They work at a pile of e-waste with chisels and pliers and by hand.The author writes in line 16”they store the fruits of their labour”.The author obtains here on the labouryty at this job,so the readers feels himselfs boring. Next you can see the persons must work because they need the money for their families,but they know the job is not good four yourselfs. In passage seven ,you can learn the persons have a simple life in A. but they life in electrical waste. The author describes with many metaphors (l…)”filth and fumes”,so we have a sensation about a dirty life. Finally the author writes the nickname of A. with two condemned biblical cities “Sodom and Gomorrah”,but A. is not hostile,but it is not a good place to live. The inbitants have not a chance ,because they need the money.

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von Bswss, Community-Experte für Englisch, 165

SO viele Fehler kann und möchte ich hier nicht korrigieren.

Hier einige Hinweise als Starthilfe:

Absatz/Abschnitt heißt nicht "part", sondern paragraph. (falls Du das meinst)

The first  (introductory) part /paragraph consists of ..

the general situation

Karim, a 29-year-old boy..

Wortstellung: The electronic waste in A. comes from all over the world.

"passage" heißt TEXTSTELLE, nicht "Absatz".

Meinst Du "The author emphasizes the environmental impact of e-waste   on the whole world"?

Es gibt kein Wort "hyporble". Meinst Du "hyperbole" (ausgesprochen etwa wie "haipöhrbeli") . Aber Dein Beispiel ist keins für hyperbole".


In line 16 the author writes... (Wortstellung)

"obtain" heißt "erhalten" !

"labouryty" gibt's nicht. Was sollt das denn heißen?

Letzter Satz

The inhabitants of A.have no alternative... 

Kein Komma vor "because".

(Dies war nur eine kleine Auswahl!)

Kommentar von denizliboy ,

vielen dank :)

von JuliaAiluja, 132

Im ersten Satz müsste es heißen "The text xy written by xy"

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