Frage von Kratzeis15, 21

Ist die Bewerbung im Englischen gut geworden. Ich würde mich über Verbesserungen der Bewerbung freuen?

12 Blueball Court
Old Hall Green Hertfordshire SG18 7DS

Advertising agency High St Hertford SG19 5SY

Dear Sir or Madam

I am writing with references to your advertisement in today's newspaper Gazette for a job as a graphic designer in your company. I would like to apply for the job because your company has friendly employee and a good atmosphere. I have been informed about your company, that needs computer skills for the job. I enclose my CV. I want to work in this job because It makes me happy and I have gained a lot of experience in this job to date. I enclose my CV.

I am 15 years old and I'm in the eight class of the IGS secondary school. My speacial subjects are Maths, English and german. I did work experience in several advertising agencys as a programmer, I very enjoyed it. It makes me happy to programm web pages for different companys. I would appreciate it if you could an application form to me.

I look forward to hearing from you soon. Yours sincerely

Leon kiter

Antwort
von MsMaxwell, 8

12 Blueball Court 
Old Hall Green Hertfordshire SG18 7DS

Advertising agency High St Hertford SG19 5SY

Dear Sir or Madam

I am writing with references to your advertisement in today's newspaper Gazette for a job as a graphic designer in your company. I would like to apply for the job because your company has friendly employees and a good atmosphere. I have been informed that one needs excellent computer skills in order to work at your company.  I would love to work for you because it's my passion to work with all kinds of computer programs.

I am 15 years old and visit the eighth grade of the IGS secondary school. My special (weiß nicht, was du damit meinst) subjects are Math, English and German. I served an internship in several advertising agencys as a programer, I always enjoyed it. It makes me happy to program web pages for different companys. I would appreciate it if you could send an application form to me. I enclose my CV.

I am looking forward to hearing from you soon. 

Yours sincerely,

Leon Kiter


Die verbesserten Stellen sind markiert.



Antwort
von AlinaLoorie, 17

I enclose my CV kommt unter die Unterschrift

Kommentar von adabei ,

Nein. Das schreibt man durchaus mit in den Text, aber man erwähnt die Anlagen (=enclosures) dann noch einmal nach der Unterschrift.

Encl. 1

Expertenantwort
von AstridDerPu, Community-Experte für Englisch & Grammatik, 7

Dear Sir or Madam

I am writing with references to your advertisement in today's
newspaper Gazette for a job as a graphic designer in your company. I
would like to apply for the job because your company has friendly
employee (Grammatik)
and a good atmosphere (Ausdruck). I have been informed about your company (kein Komma) that needs computer skills for the job (Das ergibt keinen Sinn.). I enclose my CV. I want to work in this job because It (RS) makes me happy and I have gained a lot of experience in this job to date. I enclose my CV.

I am 15 years old and I'm in the eight (RS) class of the IGS secondary
school. My speacial  (RS) subjects are Maths, English and german (RS). I did (Wort) work experience in several advertising agencys as a programmer, I very (Hier fehlt etwas.) enjoyed it. It makes me happy to programm (RS) web pages for different companys (RS). I would appreciate (---) if you could (Hier fehlt etwas.) an application form to me.

I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Yours sincerely

Leon kiter (RS)

-----------------------------

Das Fettgedruckte muss korrigiert werden. Ich hoffe, ich habe nichts übersehen.

Für das Vokabular und die Rechtschreibung empfehle ich ein gutes (online) Wörterbuch, z.B. pons.com,

für die Grammatik ego4u.de und englisch-hilfen.de - und Finger weg vom Google Übelsetzer und seinen tr.tteligen Kollegen!

--------------------------

Im Englischen werden i.d.R. folgende Gruß- und Schlussformeln verwendet,

- Dear Sir ... Yours faithfully

- Dear Madam ... Yours faithfully

- Dear Sir or Madam ... Yours faithfully

- Kennt man dagegen den Namen des Empfängers, heißt es i.d.R.:

- Dear Mr Hanson ... Yours sincerely

- Dear Mrs Hanson ... Yours sincerely

- Dear Miss Hanson ... Yours sincerely

- Dear Ms Hanson ... Yours sincerely

Kostenlose Vorlagen für englische Bewerbungen findest du hier:

    bradleycvs.co.uk/how-to-write-a-resume/free-cover-letter-samples-and-resume-templates.htm

Auch unter folgendem Link sollte sich zu deiner Frage etwas finden lassen:

- http://www.bewerbungstraining-online.at/content/view/48/58/

Tipps und Wendungen zu englischen Bewerbungsschreiben und Lebensläufen findest du in der Schreibschule (oben links) bei    ego4u.de.

    Zu empfehlen ist auch: Die perfekte Bewerbungsmappe auf Englisch (Anschreiben, Lebenslauf und Bewerbungsformular, länderspezifische

    Tipps), von Klaus Schürmann und Suzanne Mullins, Eichborn Verlag

    :-) AstridDerPu

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