Frage von 00mandy00, 173

Habe morgen ein Englisch Referat und hab auf die schnelle nur das hinbekommen. Kann das bitte jmd, der gut in Englisch ist, durchlesen und verbessern?

Today I tell you sth about the industrial revolution and the most important steps in history. Without any doubt the industrial revolution is and was one of the most important parts of human history. It began in England in 18th century and it changed the life of nearly every human world-wide because machines were invented. While in England was the industrialization in full swing, about 75% of people were employed in the agricultural sector in Germany around 1800. The textiles were produced with old spinning wheels and looms for own use. The industrial revolution could begin in Germany first in 1830 because there were still many tariff barriers which were eliminated by the German Customs Union. Until that time Germany also started to create machines. However this brought not only good things but rather bad things, too. Bad things are for example that the people were replaced by machines and in the end of the 19th century nearly one third of the people worked in factories. But the most of them were very poor and they had not good apartments. In the 18th and in the 19th century thousand of day-workers and farmers came to the cities as wage workers. There they tried to set up a new existence: They searched for apartments and a new work for their family. In the end of the 19th century worked nearly 1/3 of people in factories. But most of them lived very poor, they had not good homes and had great social insecurity. The only thing they had was the work force that they could offer the factory owners to pay. This, however, was very low, as there were too many workers. In the factories, it was common for a working day of normal people around 12 until 16 hours. There were no regular work breaks. Previously the humans had not safety arrangements that´s why there were many accidents or they were ill. For the German workers there were no social safeguards until the end of the 19th century. There was no health insurance and no support for the people who did not work. The people also had bad conditions at home. For the really poor workers there were rent apartments. They were mostly dark, small, damp and had a very bad sanitary organization. In such small apartments often lived families with 5 to 10 people. After all rents for such apartments had been very high. The kitchen was the only room that could be warmed. At such life together of people under such poor hygiene very often illness or even epidemics. Children often died in this period. 2 of 5 children were over 6 years. These children had to work with in the mines at the age of 6 years as adults in day and night shifts. Their working time was between 12 and 15 hours but they earned less money. The children worked as hard as the adults because they knew that the family needed every penny. The women had also not easy. They had to work hard also in homework or as factory workers. Further they had to do housework and children. This double stress of a married worker was working between 16 and 18 hours a day....

Expertenantwort
von AstridDerPu, Community-Experte für Englisch, 83

It began in England in (Hier fehlt ein
Artikel.)
18th century and it changed the life of nearly every
human world-wide because machines were invented. While in
England was the industrialization in full swing (Satzstellung), about
75% of (Hier fehlt ein Artikel.) people were employed in the
agricultural sector in Germany around 1800.

(---) textiles were produced with old spinning wheels
and looms for own use. The industrial revolution could begin in Germany
first (Wort) in 1830 because there were still many
tariff barriers which were (mussten) eliminated by
the German Customs Union. Until that time
(Wendung; Komma) Germany also started to create
machines. However this brought not only good things
(Stil)
but rather bad things (Stil), too.
Bad things (s.o.) are for example
that (---) people were replaced by machines and
in (Präposition) the end of the
19th century nearly one third of the people worked in factories. But
(---) most of them were very poor and they
had not (Grammatik) good
apartments. In the 18th and (---) the 19th century
(Komma) thousand of day-workers and farmers came to
the cities as wage workers. There they tried to set up a new
existence (Wendung)
: They searched for apartments and
(---) new work for their family
(Plural). In
(Präposition) the end of the 19th century
(Komma) worked nearly 1/3 of people in
factories
(Satzstellung) . But most of them
lived very poor (Ausdruck), they
had not (Grammatik) good homes and
had great (= großartig) social
insecurity. The only thing (s.o.) they had was the work force (---) they
could offer the factory owners to pay (Ausdruck).
This, however, was very low, as there were too many workers. In
the factories, it was common for a working day of normal people around
12 until 16 hours
. (Satzstellung; Formulierung) There were no regular (---) breaks.
Previously (Komma) the humans (Ausdruck) had
not
(Grammar) safety arrangements that´s
why there were many accidents or they were ill
(Bezug) . For (---) German workers
there were no social safeguards until the end of the 19th century.
There was no health insurance and no support for (---) people who did not work. (---) people also
had (Ausdruck) bad conditions at
home. For (---) really poor workers there were
rent apartments (Ausdruck) . They
were mostly dark, small, damp and had a very bad sanitary organization.
In such small apartments (Hier fehlt ein Wort.) often
lived families with 5 to 10 people. After all (Komma) rents for such apartments had been
(Zeit) very high. The kitchen was the only room that
could be warmed. At such life together of people under such
poor hygiene very often illness or even epidemics
.
(Der Satz ergibt keinen Sinn.) Children often died
in this period. 2 of 5 children were over
(Ausdruck) 6 years. These children had to
work (---) in the mines at the age of 6 (---) as adults in day and
night shifts
. (Satzstellung) Their working
time was (Wort) between 12 and 15
hours (Komma) but they earned less money.
(---) children worked as hard as (---) adults because they knew that the
(Possessivepronomen) family (Plural)
needed every penny.
(---) women had also not easy (Formulierung) . They
had to work hard also in homework (Wendung) or as factory workers. Further
(Wort; Komma) they had to do housework and
children
(Formulierung) . This
double stress of a married worker (Plural) was working between 16 and 18
hours a day.... (Der Satz ergibt keinen Sinn.)

Das Fettgedruckte muss korrigiert werden. Ich hoffe, ich habe nichts übersehen.

Für das Vokabular und die Rechtschreibung empfehle ich ein gutes (online) Wörterbuch, z.B. pons.com,

für die Grammatik ego4u.de und englisch-hilfen.de - und Finger weg vom Google Übelsetzer und seinen tr.tteligen Kollegen!.

AstridDerPu

Antwort
von Unnutzer, 71

Today I (will) tell you something about the industrial revolution and the most
important steps in history. Without any doubt the industrial revolution
is and was one of the most important parts of human history. It began in
England in 18th century and it changed the life of nearly every human
world-wide because machines were invented. While the industrialization was in full swing in England, about 75% of the people in Germany were employed in
the agricultural sector around 1800. The textiles were
produced with old spinning wheels and looms for their own use. The industrial
revolution first began in 1830 in Germany because there were still
many toll barriers which were eliminated by the German Customs Union.
Until that time Germany also started to create machines. However this
brought not only good things but rather bad things, too. Bad things are
for example that the people were replaced by machines and in the end of
the 19th century nearly one third of the people worked in factories. But
the most of them were very poor and they did not have good apartments. In
the 18th and in the 19th century thousand of day-workers and farmers
came to the cities as wage workers. There they tried to set up a new
existence: They searched for apartments and a new work for their family.
In the end of the 19th century nearly 1/3 of people worked in
factories. But most of them lived very poor, they did not have good homes and
had great social insecurity. The only thing they had was the work force
that they could offer the factory owners for payment. This, however, was
very low, as there were too many workers. In the factories, it was common to work 12 to 16 hours a day.
There were no regular work breaks. Previously the humans had not safety
arrangements, that´s why there were many accidents or the workers became ill. For the German workers there were no social safeguards until the end of the 19th century. There was no health insurance and no support for the
people who did not work. The people also had bad conditions at home. For
the really poor workers there were rent apartments. They were mostly
dark, small, wet and had a very bad sanitary organization. Often families with 5 to 10 people lived in such small apartments. After all
rents for such apartments had been very high. The kitchen was the only
room that could be warmed. At such life together of people under such
poor hygiene, illness or even epidemics were common. Children often died at that time. 2 of 5 children survived past their 6th year of life. These children had towork within the mines at the age of 6 years like adults in day and night
shifts. Their working time was between 12 and 15 hours although they earned
less money. The children worked as hard as the adults because they knew
that the family needed every penny. The women did not have an easier life either. They had to work hard at home or as factory workers. Further they had to take care for the children. This double stress of a married worker
was working between 16 and 18 hours a day. One of the good things is that the people were able to travel faster and further than ever before. Another one is that they can produce faster and more efficiently. And the last thing is that new transportation were invented. For example in 1769 the first steam engine was built and since 1785 they were used in each textile industry. Only one of them worked like 100 workers and at the end of the 18th century there were over 200 steam engines. They were not only utilized in the textile industry, but
also in the mining, in the iron production and as the means of
transport. The humans would had more of the steam engines and this meant
that they also needed more iron and coal because with the iron they
built them and the coal was used to fuel them. Then in 1784 premium steel
was developed and this was important for the machine engineering,
mining, construction of buildings, boat building and for train engineering. The first acting steam locomotive and the rails were built in 1814. But the workers had to wait till 1825 when the first people were able to drive with the engines. Trains were also very important because the machines have been replaced sometimes and workers were needed for that. It supported the industrial coal
mining and the industrial iron ore mining too. Germany had actually
three main emphasis: The first one was the iron production; the second one was the steel production; and the third and last one is the machine
engineering. This three centers were called the heavy industry and it
became more important until the 20th century...

~~

Antwort
von MaryYosephiene, 80

in the 18th century

sonst ein ganz guter text, leicht verständlich, trotzdem gutes Vokabular

Daumen hoch, gut gemacht

liebe grüße Mary yosephiene

Antwort
von 00mandy00, 62

One of the good things is that the people are able to travel faster and further than ever before. Another one is that they can produce faster and efficiently. And the last thing is that new transportation were invented. For example in 1769 the steam engine were created and since 1785 they were used in each textile industry. Only one of them worked like 100 workers and in the end of the 18th century there were over 200 steam engines. They were not only utilized in the textile industry, but also in the mining, in the iron production and as the means of transport. The humans would had more of the steam engines and this meant that they also needed more iron and coal because with the iron they built them and the coal was for the drive. Then in 1784 premium steel was developed and this was important for the machine engineering, mining, construction of buildings, boat building and for the train construction. The first acting steam loco and the rails were built in 1814. But only in 1825 the people were able to drive with the engines. Trains were also very important because of them the machines were every time replaced and workers were needed. It supported the industrial coal mining and the industrial iron ore mining, too. Germany had actually three centers: The first one was the iron production; the second one was the steel production; and the third and last one is the machine engineering. This three centers were called the heavy industry and it became more important until the 20th century.... mehr hab ich noch nicht

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