Es ist ein kleiner Text über Kalifornien , bitte Korrektion und Bewertung
Now I would really like to tell you something about the disadvantages and the advantages in "The Golden State" California. At first I woud really like to begin with the disadvantages for exampe the crime rate and the homelessness are very represented there due to in the last years there were lots of earthquakes. After the disadvantages I going to elucidate about the advantages for example In California there are lots of beautiful National Parks like Sequoia or Yosemite National Park. One of the useful advantages is that one of the world wide films industry are in California. The California farming industries are playing an important role in because they sell fruits all over the world. Kann mir jemand ein gutes ende sagen
advantages and disadvantages of California ... I would ... for example.... crime rate and homelessness (ohne "the") are widespread because there were....... ---- Obdachlosigkeit und Kriminalität haben aber mit Erdbeben nichts zu tun! ----
I 'm going to move on to.... advantages is that California is the world center of teh film industry .....** Farming in California** plays an important role...
hier meine Korrekturen:
Now I would (---) like to tell you something about the disadvantages and the advantages of "The Golden State" California. I woud like to begin with the disadvantages**, for *example*** the crime rate and the homelessness**, which** are very high (there) due to many earthquakes in the last few years.
After the disadvantages**, I am** going to talk about the advantages**, for example a large number of beautiful national parks in California, such as** Sequoia or Yosemite National Park.
One of the useful advantages is that there is one of the worldwide film industries in California. (= Einer der nützlichen Vorteile ist, dass es eine der weltweiten Filmindustrien in Kalifornien gibt ???)
California’s farming industries **play an important role in wo because they sell fruit = Obst all over the world.
Der sart sollte nicht von Kalifornien heißen sondern in Kalifornien
Now (Today) I would like to tell you something about the advantages and the disadvantages of "The Golden State" California. At first I woud like to begin with the disadvantages. There is for example a high crime rate in California. Moreover, there is a high rate of homeless people, due to the enormous amount of earthquakes in the last years. But still, California also has some good sites. There are for example lots of beautiful National Parks like Sequoia or Yosemite National Park. Furthermore, The Golden State is the home of the worl wide film industry. The California farming industries are also playing an important role in the world wide economy, by selling fruits all over the world. All in all one can say, that California is definetely worth a visit. Lg :)
in "The Golden State" California. <--- Ich denke es müsste "of The Golden State" heißen.
At first I woud really like to begin <----- Lass das "really" web. Hast du schon im ersten Satz.
exampe <------ example
is that one of the world wide films industry are in California <---- "are in California" in "is"
Ich denke mal, du solltest noch mehr Punkte setzen. Einige Wörter würde ich auch noch ersetzen (z.B. "elucidate"). Den Schluss solltest du dir aber selbst überlegen!
ich würde in zeile 2schreiben " First I would like to tell you something about the disadvantages for example..." und dann in zeile 4: " But in california there are also a lots of great things like hte beautiful national parks..."
Hausaufgaben bitte selbst erledigen ;)