Frage von Crissaa, 31

Englischer Aufsatz? Grammatik?

Hi Leute,

wir müssen einen Aufsatz in Englisch schreiben. Ich würde mich freuen, wenn sich jemand meinen einmal durchlesen könnte und auf Satzbau sowie Grammatik prüfen könnte, da ich mir manchmal etwas unsicher bin. Auch über andere Wortvorschläge freue ich mich. Vielen Dank.

My name is John and I'm 15 years old. Currently I'm living at the secure home in Manchester because I broke into a house. All my friends live in southern England, that's why I'm feeling really lonely sometimes. I was born into a wealthy family. My parents are over-ambitious and very strict. My dad always wanted me to study medicine, so that I could take over his doctor's office. But he never asked me if I want to go that way. God thanks I've had my grandmother. She always stood by me. I don't miss my parents at all. Listen! They are constantly giving me the feeling that I'm not enough. When my grandmothef died three years ago, I became unstable. Suddenly there was no one left who understands me. At that time I met a few new people and I wanted to prove that I'm not just the rich kid. Maybe I also wanted to provoke my parents. It was fun to be the rebel. And so it came to my first crime. On the one hand I regret the things I've done, but on the other hand I'm glad that I'm no longer with my parents. I know that sounds strange, but it's the truth. My fear is to come back home, cause I know that nothing will have changed. Same terrible parents, same criminal friends. Even though I miss my mates, I know they're not good for me. Because of that I want to move to my uncle after my time in the secure home and start a new chapter in life. He lives in scotland and is owner of a restaurant there. He offered me to do an traineeship at his restaurant. I am looking forward to that because I love cooking and I always wanted to become a cook. Also it's very important for me because I know my grandmother would be proud of me to do that.

Antwort
von jankoepf, 22

Also grundsätzlich ganz gut aber zu springst immer zeischen den Zeiten hin und her, du musst dich auf eine zeut gestlegen also gegenwart oder vergangenheit. Aber hier sind alle Fehler die ich gefunden habe verbessert:

But he never asked me if I WANTED to go that way. 

God thanks I've had my grandmother.--> Thank God I had my grandmother. 

She always stood by me. --> She always stood by my side.

They are constantly giving me the feeling that I'm not GOOD enough.

Suddenly there was no one left who understands me. --> Then all of a sudden there was no one left that understood me.

And so it came to my first crime.--> And that's how it came to me doing my first crime.

Kommentar von Crissaa ,

Dankeschön für die Mühe! :-)

Kommentar von jankoepf ,

Gern gab grad nix eh besseres zu tun😂😂

Kommentar von Crissaa ,

klar, die neue staffel fear the walking dead ist draußen! :D

Expertenantwort
von AstridDerPu, Community-Experte für Englisch & Grammatik, 12

My name is John and I'm 15 years old. Currently I'm living at the secure
home in Manchester because I broke into a house. All my friends live in
southern England, that's why I'm feeling really lonely sometimes. I was
born into a wealthy family. My parents are over-ambitious and very
strict. My dad always wanted me to study medicine, so that I could take
over his doctor's office. But he never asked me if I want (Grammatik) to go that
way.

God thanks (Ausdruck) I've had (Grammatik) my grandmother. She always stood by me. I don't miss my parents at all. Listen! They are constantly giving me the feeling that I'm not enough. When my grandmothef (RS) died three years ago, I
became unstable. Suddenly there was no one left who understands me. At
that time (Komma) I met a few new people and I wanted to prove that I'm not just the rich kid. Maybe (Komma) I also wanted to provoke my parents. It was fun to be the rebel. And so it came to my first crime. On the one hand (Komma) I regret the things I've done (Grammatik), but on the other hand I'm glad that I'm no longer with my parents. I know that sounds strange, but it's the truth.

My fear is to come back home, (kein Komma) cause (Stil) I know that nothing will have changed. Same terrible parents, same criminal friends. Even though I miss my mates, I know they're not good for me. Because of that I want to move to my uncle after my time in the secure home and start a new chapter in life. He lives in scotland (RS) and is (Hier fehlt ein Artikel.) owner of a restaurant there. He offered me to do an (Grammatik, RS) traineeship at his restaurant. I am looking forward
to that because I love cooking and I always wanted to become a cook.
Also (Kein Satzanfang) it's very important for me because I know my grandmother would be proud of me to do that (Formulierung).


Das Fettgedruckte muss korrigiert werden. Ich hoffe, ich habe nichts übersehen.



Für das Vokabular und die Rechtschreibung empfehle ich ein gutes (online) Wörterbuch, z.B. pons.com,



für die Grammatik ego4u.de und englisch-hilfen.de - und Finger weg vom Google Übelsetzer und seinen tr.tteligen Kollegen!



:-) AstridDerPu






Keine passende Antwort gefunden?

Fragen Sie die Community