Frage von Smile17, 45

Englisch What I would save in a fire?

Hallo :) Ich habe einen Artikel über das obenstehende Thema schreiben müssen. So hab ich mich hingesetzt und einen geschrieben. Jedoch bin ich nicht sehr zufrieden mit meiner Wortwahl und Satzstellung. Hat jemand Verbesserungsvorschläge? Danke im Voraus!

What I would save in a fire?

Have you ever thought about which possession you would choose to save if your house was on fire? Well, for me it would definitely be my cat Baloo. He is my everything. The imagination, the he would be in a fire is frightening. Last Saturday I’ve lost my other cat called Simba, because of a car accident. Now I’m really down and I can’t imagine what I would do without Baloo. For many people would that be irreproducible, because it’s just a cat. However, for me is this not true. I think it’s a creature, witch has the law to live. Have you ever loved someone or something so hard, that you couldn’t imagine a life without him or that? Yes? I feel the same. So Consequently, for everyone is something else important. We all hope, that we never be in this situation.

Expertenantwort
von AstridDerPu, Community-Experte für Englisch, 7

Have you ever thought about which possession you would choose to save if your house was on fire? Well, for me it would definitely be my cat Baloo. He is my everything. The imagination (kein Komma) the (Wort)  he would be in a fire is frightening. Last Saturday (Komma)  I’ve lost (Zeit; Kurzformen wie diese sollten in der Schriftsprache - zumindest in formellen Texten nicht verwendet werden.) my other cat called Simba (kein Komma) because of (Ich persönlich würde "in" vorziehen.) a car accident. Now I’m really down and I can’t imagine what I would do without Baloo. For many people would that (Word Order) be irreproducible (Wort; kein Komma) because it’s just a cat. However, for me is this (Word Order)  not true (Satzstellung). I think it’s a creature (kein Komma)  witch (RS)  has the law (Wort)  to live. Have you ever loved someone or something so hard (Wort; kein Kommar) that you couldn’t imagine a life without him or that (Grammar) ? Yes? (Stil)  I feel the same. So Consequently (RS), for everyone is something else (Wort)  important(Satzstellung)  We all hope (kein Komma)  that we never be in this situation (Grammatik, Zeit, Ausdruck).

Das Fettgedruckte muss korrigiert werden. Ich hoffe, ich habe nichts übersehen.

Für das Vokabular und die Rechtschreibung empfehle ich ein gutes (online) Wörterbuch, z.B. pons.com,

für die Grammatik ego4u.de und englisch-hilfen.de.

:-) AstridDerPu

Antwort
von Liaya, 16

Have you ever thought about which possession you would choose to save if your house was on fire? Well, for me it would definitely be my cat Baloo. He is my everything. The imagination, the he would be in a fire is frightening. Last Saturday I’ve lost my other cat called Simba, because of a car accident. Now I’m really sad and I can’t imagine what I would do without Baloo. For many people would that be irreproducible, because it’s just a cat. However, for me this is not true. I think it’s a creature, witch has the law to live. Have you ever loved someone or something so much, that you couldn’t imagine a life without him or that? Yes? I feel the same. So Consequently, for everyone is something else important. We all hope, that we never be in this situation.

Ich würde die fett-markierten Dinge so verändern, da es einfach besser klingt und im englischen ja auch nicht unbedingt die deutsche Jugendsprache gibt. :)

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