Frage von Tristanius, 53

Englisch Vortrag Korrektur (Vortrag)?

  1. graduation
  2. job
  3. where to live
  4. travel
  5. family
  6. think which will be chanche
  7. friends future plans/most future plans are

Today i want to talk about future plans, especially my plans for the future Here you can see my structure, i will start with graduations

1. - – as you know this year, we will have our BLF exam and this is an important step in our future - and i think everyone here wants to do an A-Level graduation, and then want to study, - but i only want that A-Level graduation because - after finishing school, i will not study, preferably, i will do a year abroad - i think i want to spend this year in a big city in America to improve my english skills, and learn how to take care of myself 

2. - When i do my year abroad i have to earn money to buy food or to pay bills - to earn money i want to do there something with fashion or i will work in a bar or something like that - maybe i will study after my year abroad, or i will just stay there, i will see - and the reason why America, because ist far away from enought fromm y parents and it´s a interesting country i think

3. - in my future, i want to live in a big city - because you have all there what you need, and it´s maybe more interessting then a tall city or a village - i know it will be expensive -thats why i have to live in a shared flat or alone in a small apartment, -but i think a shared flat is better because it´s cheaper and you also have a better social contact, because you dont live alone 

4.i do like travalling very much, because you can make new experienses, you can broad your horizon and i like it to fly – but it´s expensive and complicated with your job thats why:

  • i will look for a job where i have to travel every week or month in a other countrie or city
  •  5. – until now I dont want to have kids or be married, because im too young yet
  • maybe i want some when im over thirty
  • 6. i do now play in a football club for like over 10 years, but i think i have to quit this when i do finish my school, because i will not anymore here, and i do not have the time to play there
    • i will have a other home and i will have other friends, and also i will have a other way to life

7. – i have ask some of my friends, and one of them want to do an A-Level grauduation, then he wants to study, to get a good job before he want to have a famaly in a village.

and most of them want to graduation, study or do a apprenticeship first and keep living with their parents, before getting married and having own kids - that´s maybe the „standart“ way to live a life

Hey :) Könnt ihr mal bitte auf Grammatik und Rechtschreibung prüfen? Und bitte noch ein paar Ergänzungen, damit der Vortrag etwas länger geht. Danke :))

Expertenantwort
von AstridDerPu, Community-Experte für Englisch, 10

    1.graduation
    2,job
    3.where to live
    4.travel
    5.family
    6.think (RS) which will be chanche (RS; Grammatik)
    7.friends (RS) future plans/most future plans are

Today i (RS) want to (besser: would like to) talk about future plans, especially my plans for the
future (Punkt) Here you can see my structure, i (RS) will start with graduations (RS)

1. (s.o.) - – as you know (Komma) this year, we will have our BLF exam and this is
an important step in (Präposition) our future - and i (RS) think everyone here wants to do an A-Level graduation, and then want (Grammatik) to study, - but i (RS) only want that (Grammatik) A-Level graduation because - after finishing school, i (RS) will (= werden, nicht wollen) not study, preferably, i (RS) will (s.o.) do a year abroad - i (RS) think i (RS) want to spend this year in a big city in America (Nord- oder Süd- ?) to improve my english (RS) skills, and learn how to take care of myself 

2. (s.o,) - When i do my year abroad (Komma) i have to earn money to buy food or to
pay bills - to earn money i want to do there something with fashion (Satzstellung) or i will (s.o.) work in a bar or something like that - maybe i will (s.o.) study after my
year abroad, or i will (s.o.) just stay there (wo?) , i (s.o.) will see - and the reason why (Hier fehlt etwas.) America (s.o.) (kein Komma) because ist (RS) far away from enought (RS) from my parents (Satzstellung) and it´s a interesting country (Komma) i (RS) think

3. (s.o.) - in my future, i want to live in a big city - because you have
all there what
 (Formulierung) you need, and it´s maybe (Wort) more interessting (RS) then (RS) a tall (Wort) city (Was ist der Unterschied zwischen einer big und einer tall city?) or a village - i know it will be expensive -thats (RS) why i have to
live in a shared flat or alone in a small apartment, -but i think a
shared flat is better because it´s cheaper and you also have a better
social contact (Plura) (kein Komma)
because you dont (RS) live alone 

4. (s.o.) i (---) like travalling (RS) very much (kein Komma) because you can make new
experienses (RS) , you can broad (RS) your horizon and i like (---) to fly – but it´s
expensive and complicated with your job thats (RS) why (Formulierung) :

i will (s.o.)

look for a job

where (Wort)

i have to travel every week or month

in (Präposition) a other (RS) countrie

 

(RS)

or city

 

5. (s.o.)

until now (RS)

I

dont (RS)

want to have kids or be married 

(kein Komma)

because

im (RS)

too young

yet (Wort) (neuer Satz)

maybe i want some when

im (RS)

over thirty

6.

 

(s.o.)

i

(---)

now

play (Zeit)

in a football club for

like (Wort)

over 10 years, but i

think i have to quit

(---)

when i

(---)

finish

(---)

school 

(kein Komma)

because

i will not (Hier fehlt etwas) anymore here (Satzstellung) ,

and i do not have

the (Wort)

time to play there




    i will  (s.o.) have a other home and i will (s.o.) have other friends, and also i will (s.o.; Word Order) have a other (RS) way to life (Ausdruck)

7. (s.o.) – i have ask (Grammatik) some of my friends, and one of them want (Grammatik) to do an A-Level grauduation (RS) (neuer Satz)  then he wants to study (linking word)  to get a good job before he want (Grammatik) to have a famaly (RS) in a village.

and most of them want to graduation (Wortart) , study or do a (Grammatik) apprenticeship first and keep living with their parents, before getting married and
having own kids - that´s maybe (Wort) the „standart“ (RS) way to live a life (Punkt)

- Ordnungszahlen schauen im Englischen anders aus.

- Das englische Personalpronomen für ich = I schreibt man im Englischen immer groß, egal ob am Satzanfang, in der Satzmitte
oder am Satzende.

- Denke an die Satzzeichen. Sie zeigen dir an, wo du eine Sprechpause machen musst.

- Denke daran, dass I will = ich werde und nicht ich will heißt.

Das Fettgedruckte muss korrigiert werden. Ich hoffe, ich habe nichts übersehen.

Für das Vokabular und die Rechtschreibung empfehle ich ein gutes (online) Wörterbuch, z.B. pons.com,

für die Grammatik ego4u.de und englisch-hilfen.de - und Finger weg vom Google Übelsetzer und seinen tr.tteligen Kollegen!.

:-) AstridDerPu

Kommentar von flushathings ,

'an'? :) (p. 2, l. 8) 

Antwort
von controller1, 10

Today
I would like to talk about future plans, especially my plans for the
future.

    1.
    - At first I'll start with the topic “graduation”. As you know,
    this year we will have our BLF exam, an important step for our
    future. I think the most of you want to do an A-Level graduation,
    and then to study. That's not my case. I just want the A-Level
    graduation, because after finishing school, I dont't want to study,
    not yet. If possible, I will do a year abroad. With this year, in a
    big city in America, I will be able to improve my english skills,
    and learn how to take care of myself



    2.
    - Now I'll tell you about what I'll do to earn money during my year
    abroad. I will have to earn money to buy food and to pay bills, to
    earn money I want to do something with fashion or I will work in a
    bar or something like that. Maybe I will study after my abrod-year,
    I'm not sure. The reason why I choose America is because it's far
    away from my parents and I think it´s an interesting country.

    3 -In the future, I want to live in a big city, because you have
    everything you need right there where you are. And it´s more
    interesting than a small city or a village. It will be expensive,
    and that's why I will have to live in a shared flat or alone in a
    small apartment. But I think a shared flat is better, because it´s
    cheaper and you also have a better social contact, because you don't
    live alone.

4. - Traveling is a wonderful thing, you can get new experiences, get 

new friends and you can broad your horizon. And I love flying. It´s
very expensive and complicated to get and to stay in a job that's
why I will look for a job where I have to travel every week or month in a 

other countries or cities.

5. - At the moment, I don't want to get some children or to get married, 

because I'm too young for that. Maybe I will change my opinion when
I'm over thirty years old. Nowadays I am playing in a football club
for over 10 years, but I will have to leave it when I finish the
school. At least I want to live somewhere different. I will have
another place to live and new friends, and I will have an other
lifestyle as well.

    – Finally
    I'd like to say my friends' opinion. I have asked some friends, and
    one of them wants to study after getting the A-Level graduation.
    This way he think he can get a good job. He also wants to make a
    family and to live in a village. My other friends want to do
    graduation, then study or do a apprenticeship. They want to keep
    living with their parents before getting married or having children.
    That´s what the most people want.

That's all. I hope you enjoyed my presentation, thanks for listening.

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