Frage von sezer0012, 85

Englisch mündliche prüfung, ist mein text korrekt?

Hallo ich habe das Thema in der mündlichen Englisch Prüfung Das loch ness monster. Ich soll 5 minuten dafür präsentieren, das werde ich sagen und wollte fragen ob es gut ist und reicht?:

Hello I present to you the loch ness monster. Most people call the loch ness monster nessie. You can see Nessie in this picture.

Nessie lives in scotland in a lake called loch ness, loch ness is the second biggest lake in scotland and 230m deep. You can see loch ness in this picture.

Nessie was first seen at the year 1933, mr. and mrs. john mackay drove around the lake suddenly they saw anything in the water, they thought firstly that this were two fighting geese, but it was a big moving creature. It was nessie.

The newspaper inverness courier released the report, many scientists came to loch ness to find a evidence that there is a monster in the lake.

People captured fake photos to get famous. One of the fake photos is this picture, people thought that this was a real picture of nessie but after 60 years they found it out. It was a selfbuilded toy.

Tourists go to scotland in the hope that they see nessie. For the tourists the lake is the most visited place in scotland.

A circus owner promised a sum of 20.000 dollars for anyone who could bring the monster alive to his circus. 20 Mans were paid 2 dollars a day to be a monster watcher, they found nothing. In google maps you can see something in the water, it looks like this picture.

In 2003 a team searched nessie with 600 sonar beams and satelite tracking. They found nothing with such a big size in the water.

Nessie is a myth but for the nessie fans he lives in their fantasy. Thank you for your attention.

Hilfreichste Antwort - ausgezeichnet vom Fragesteller
von AstridDerPu, Community-Experte für Englisch, 50

Hello

I present to you the loch ness monster. Most people call the loch ness monster nessie. You can see Nessie in this picture.

Nessie lives in scotland in a lake called loch ness (Punkt) loch ness is the
second biggest lake in scotland and 230m (Achtung: metres) deep. You can see loch ness in this picture.

Nessie was first seen at (Präposition) (the year = optional) 1933, mr. and mrs. john mackay drove (Zeit) around the lake (Hier fehlt etwas) suddenly they saw anything (Wort) in the water (neuer Satz)  they thought firstly (Wort) that this (Wort) were two fighting geese, but it was a big moving creature (Komma) It was nessie.

(Hier fehlt etwas.) The newspaper inverness courier released (Wort) the report, many scientists came to loch ness to find a evidence (Wort) that there is a monster in the lake (Formulierung).

People captured (Zeit) fake photos to get famous. One of the fake photos is
this picture (Anbindung) people thought that this was a real picture of nessie (but) but
after 60 years they found it out (Formulierung) . It was a selfbuilded (Grammatik) toy.

Tourists go to scotland in the hope that (Wendung) they see nessie. For (---) tourists the lake is the most visited place in scotland. (Wendung)

A circus owner promised a sum of 20.000 dollars for anyone who could
bring the monster alive to his circus (Word Order). 20 Mans (RS; Grammatik) were paid 2 dollars a day to be a monster watcher (Plural; Anbindung)  they found nothing. In google maps you can see something in the water, it looks like this picture.

In 2003 (Komma) a team searched nessie with 600 sonar beams and satelite (RS) tracking. They found nothing with (Präposition) such a big size (Formulierung) in the water.

Nessie is a myth (Komma) but for (---) nessie fans he (Grammatik) lives in their fantasy. Thank you for your attention.

- Bitte korrigiere die Klein- und Großschreibung!

Das Fettgedruckte muss korrigiert werden. Ich hoffe, ich habe nichts übersehen.

Für das Vokabular und die Rechtschreibung empfehle ich ein gutes (online) Wörterbuch, z.B. pons.com, für die Grammatik ego4u.de und englisch-hilfen.de - und Finger weg vom Google Übelsetzer und seinen tr.tteligen Kollegen!.

:-) AstridDerPu

Kommentar von sezer0012 ,

Danke ist sehr hilfreich, aber leider weiß ich nicht was ich einfügen soll z.B. bei Wort oder formulierung?

Und findest du die Infos gut für die Präsentation?

Kommentar von AstridDerPu ,

Wort = schau in einem guten (online) Wörterbuch, z. B. bei pons.com, nach einem anderen Wort

Formulierung = Formuliere um, da du dich falsch ausgedrückt hast.

Kommentar von sezer0012 ,

ich meinte damit das ich nicht weiß was ich da einfügen soll, leider nicht nur bei Wort und formulierung sondern überall. ... :(

Kommentar von AstridDerPu ,

Schön, dass dir meine Antwort (trotzdem) gefallen hat und danke für das Sternchen!

AstridDerPu

Antwort
von Stahlregal, 48

Ich finds gut. Bin aber auch schin n paar jahre aus der schule raus.

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