Frage von halloa1997, 32

Englisch: korrekt?

Könnte jemand die Fehler fett markieren bzw. verbessern, damit es besser klingt?

Ist ne Art Bewerbung :D

Hello,

I' am xxxxx from Germany.

I' am now for few days in Turkey and I was suprised after I saw the Linsar station, where a lot people can test the Virtual Reality.

After a little bit research I found the website and was suprised again because of the wide range over the world.

In Germany I didnt see the Linsar company. Iam interested to provide a Linsar station in Germany and travel around Germany to present a lot people the Virtual Reality. A little bit about me : I am 19-year-old A-levels student from Germany .

Next year I will start to study in a university in the branche of Business information and information systems. I have a driving license and love to travel and learn more about other people and cultures. Moreover i can speak English, German and Turkish.

With regards,

xxxxxx

Antwort
von Himberdounat, 23

I'm oder I am
nicht beides

Kommentar von 19lena99 ,

Bei formal letters wie z.B. Bewerbungen schreibt man es aber aus, die Kurzform ist umgangssprachlich.

Kommentar von Himberdounat ,

ich jabe ihn ja nicht angewiesen die Kurzdorm zu verwenden, sondern nur angemerkt, das die Vermischung von Lang und Kurzform die er geschrieben hat falsch ist.

Antwort
von himalui, 11

Hello,

I' am (I am) xxxxx from Germany.

I' am (I am) now for few days in Turkey (in Turkey right now for a few days) and I was (positively) suprised after (when) I saw the Linsar station, where a lot (of) people can test the Virtual Reality.

After a little bit (of) research I found the website and was suprised again because of the wide range over the world (how widespread and all over the world Linsar is).

In Germany (though,) I didnt see the Linsar company. Iam (I am) interested to provide (in providing) a Linsar station in Germany and (to) travel around Germany to present a lot people the Virtual Reality (to present the Virtual Reality to a lot of people). A little bit about me: I am (a) 19-year-old A-levels student from Germany .

Next year I will start to study in a university in the branche of Business information and information systems (be a student at university, in the Business Information and Informations Systems branch). I have a driving (drivers) license and love to travel and (to) learn more about other people and (their) cultures. Moreover, I can speak (I am able to speak) English, German and Turkish.

(With kannst du weglassen, oder dann direkt With best regards oder so schreiben!) Regards,

xxxxxx

___________

Ich hab jetzt einfache Rechtschreib- und Satzbaufehler korrigiert, wenn etwas fett markiert ist aber in Klammern steht, z.B. (positively), habe ich das Wort neu eingefügt, entweder um einen Fehler zu beheben oder deinen Text stilistisch etwas besser zu machen :)

(Im letzten Satz ist "I can speak" nicht falsch, aber es klingt einfach ein wenig plump, deswegen habe ich es korrigiert :))

Hoffe ich konnte helfen :)

Antwort
von 19lena99, 3

Dear Sir or Madam,

I am xxxxx from Germany.

I have been in Turkey for few days now and I was very suprised when I saw the Linsar station (kein Komma) where a lot of people can test the Virtual Reality.

After searching on the internet I found your (schreibst du direkt an das Unternehmen, wenn ja, dann ist your besser) website and I was surprised again because of the wide range all over the world.

In Germany, I have not seen the Linsar company so far. I am interested in providing a Linsar station in Germany and travelling around Germany to present the Virtual Reality to a lot of people. A little bit about me: I am 19-year-old A-Levels student from Germany.

Next year I will be studying at the university in the Business Information and Information Systems branch. I have a driving licence and love to travel and to learn more about other people and their cultures. Moreover, I speak English, German and Turkish.

Yours sincerely,

xxxxxx

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