Comment über Video games, bitte Kontrolle!

Hallo Leute, das Niveau ist 10. Klasse Gym. Ist für eine Schulaufgabe.

Die Frage: Write a comment in 150 words. Should video games be forbidden?

Hier mein comment:

It has often been said that video games have bad influence on people who play them. For example, it has often been argued, that Kids in school are less concentrated if they are playing computer games. In the following I would like to point out, should video games be forbidden?

In my opinion video games shouldn´t be forbidden. This is simply, because video games are not the source of these problems. It´s true, that if you let your child play video games the whole day, it has huge negative effects on it, for example lacks in social connections. But this is the fault of the parents. Kids shouldnt be allowed to play the whole day, this completely seperates them from the reality, but it´s ok if they play here and then.

Another reason why video games should be allowed, because it´s fun playing them. If you play a video game, you can do things that you won´t ever be able to do in real, for example flying around without nothing but your body. Every game is a different adventure, that you can share with friends. Every different person can find something that he likes, no one comes short, even business-man can find games that fit for them.

So to sum up, video games are a nice experience. The key is not overdoing it. Or you will end up living in a virtual world.

///Ende

Wie findet ihr es? Bitte alles verbessern was geht :). Danke.

Answer 1

[heide2012]

Ich habe den Text nach bestem Wissen korrigiert und geändert, finde aber, dass noch Aspekte fehlen, wie zum Beispiel, dass es auch Spiele gibt, durch die man etwas lernen kann und dass Eltern kontrollieren sollten, welche Spiele ihre Kinder wie lange spielen und dass sie (die Eltern) auf die Altersfreigaben achten sollten. Ebenfalls sollten sie darauf achten, dass die Kinder genug Bewegung haben. It has often been said that video games have bad influence on people who play them. For example, it has often been argued, that kids are less concentrated at school if they are play computer games. In the following, I would like to point out, why video games should be allowed.

In my opinion video games shouldn´t be forbidden. This is simply, because video games don't cause these problems. It´s true, that if you permit your child to play video games the whole day, it has huge negative effects on it, for example lacks in social connections. But this is the parents' fault. Kids shouldnt be allowed to play all day, this completely seperates them from reality, but it´s ok if they play from time to time or at a fixed time every day..

Another reason why video games should be allowed is that they're fun. If you play a video game, you can do things that you won´t ever be able to do in reality, for example flying around without anything but your body. Every game is a different adventure, that you can share with friends. Because of a wide range everybody, children, teenagers, adults, can find a suitable game they really like.

To sum up, video games are a nice experience. The solution is the right and responsible use. Playing too much may end up living in a virtual world.

Comments

[hiasto]

Hey, danke dass du dir die Zeit genommen hast :).

Man soll ungefähr 150 wörter dazu schreiben, klar gibts mehr argumente aber sollte schon reichen soweit^^.

Danke für deine Korrekturen. Mir geht es jetzt vor allem um nach der Einleitung. Ich merk schon du hast bessere Formulierungen benutzt. Sind die die ich benutzt habe falsch oder würden die auch gehen?

z.b. "is that they´re fun" statt "because it´s fun playing them" Gruß