Frage von Boss1998, 277

Ist diese Charakterisierung von "Mr Mumsford" gut ?

Hallo,

ich habe eine Charakterisierung von der Kurzgeschichte "Mr Mumsford" gemacht,Meine Frage: ist die so richtig oder falsch?

Theshort story “ Mr Mumsford” by Larry French is about care andrespect other people.

Theprotagonist and round character, Ralph Mumsford, works as a janitorat a small southern school in America. He is a six feet tall and veryblack man who is not really intelligent.

RalphMumsford is calling from the other teachers and students with thenickname 'Bibs' which he do not like. So he decides to kill theprincipal of the school. After the principal came out of his office,Ralph stepped out in front of him and said “ I come to kill you”(l. 15). That shows that he is very direct and have no small talkwith the principal. Also he is really nervous and afraid because henever killed someone before “ Beads of sweat...clenched the bat..”(l.13). Another import fact is that Ralph Mumsford shows interest inthe students because he says “Hell, I know more'n half of theirnames and where they live.” (l.25) He seems to be very religious ashe says in line 36 “ A Christian man ought to always eat the suppermeal with his wife.” As he is a religious man means that he maynot kill some people because in the Bible stands that you may notkill other people.

Allthings considered, Ralph Mumsford seems to be a nervous man who isfrustrated and injured that everyone calling him Bibs. As he does nothide his feeling he is revengeful.

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von AstridDerPu, Community-Experte für Englisch, 177

The short story “ Mr Mumsford” by Larry French is about care and respect (Gerund) other people.

The protagonist and round character, Ralph Mumsford, works as a janitor at a small southern school in America. He is a six feet tall and very black man (Komma) who is not really intelligent.

Ralph Mumsford is calling from (Zeit; Präposition; Passiv) the other teachers and students with (Präposition) the nickname 'Bibs' (Komma) which he do (Grammar) not like. So he decides to kill the principal of the school. After the principal came (Zeit) out of his office, Ralph stepped (Zeit) out in front of him and said (Zeit; Komma) “I come to kill you”(l. 15). That (Wort) shows that he is very direct and have (Grammar) no small talk with the principal. Also (kein Satzanfang) he is really nervous and afraid because he never killed (Zeit) someone (Grammar) before  “Beads of sweat...clenched the bat..”(l.13). Another import fact is that Ralph Mumsford shows interest in the students because he says “Hell, I know more'n half of their names and where they live.” (l.25) He seems to be very religious as he says in line 36 “ A Christian man ought to always eat the suppermeal with his wife.” As (Wort) he is a religious man means that he may not (Grammar) kill some (Grammar) people because in the Bible stands (Ausdruck) that you may not (Grammar) kill other people.

All things considered, Ralph Mumsford seems to be a nervous man (Komma) who is frustrated and injured (Wort) that everyone calling (Grammar) him Bibs. As he does not hide his feeling (Komma) he is revengeful.

Das Fettgedruckte muss korrigiert werden. Ich hoffe, ich habe nichts übersehen.

Für das Vokabular und die Rechtschreibung empfehle ich ein gutes (online) Wörterbuch, z.B. pons.com,

für die Grammatik ego4u.de und englisch-hilfen.de.

:-) AstridDerPu

Kommentar von Boss1998 ,

Danke :)

Kommentar von AstridDerPu ,

Schön, dass dir meine Antwort gefallen hat und danke für das Sternchen!

AstridDerPu

Expertenantwort
von Bswss, Community-Experte für Englisch, 111

Inhaltlich möchte ich darauf nicht eingehen, weil ich die Story gerade nicht  vorliegen habe.

Korrekturen (vgl. Astrid):

The short story...  care and respect ... The protagonist...(Die Bezeichnung "round character" finde ich an dieser Stelle unpassend).

.. janitor at ... Was soll "very black" bedeuten?

Wortstellung, Grammatik: Mumsford is called (nicknamed) "Bibs" by the  teachers and the students, which he does not like at all.

Ralph steps (simple present!) 

he has never killed anyone before...

"in the Bible stands" ist fürchterliches DeutschlichSchülerKwänglisch. Korrektur: "it says in the Bible that.."

Weitere Fehler: siehe Astrid.

Kommentar von Boss1998 ,

very black soll bedeuten das seine Hautfarbe schwarz ist

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